38 Reasons Why H.E.B. Is The Best Dang Grocery Store In The World
Welcome to Texas, where everything is bigger and better, especially the state's favorite grocery store: H.E.B.!!!!
If you grew up in Texas, this never failed to make you laugh out loud.
H.E.B. is a utopia where the cokes are still 25 cents.
They are probably the only U.S. grocery chain with a sign just for picante sauce.
Not to mention an entire display of Mexican baked goods.
You can even get one of... these... H.E.B. brand... boot... cheeses (?), which is rad.
H.E.B. gets that beans are best with a healthy glug of Shiner Bock.
And that real Texas chili doesn't have beans in it.
And that tea is supposed to be sweet.
H.E.B. also knows that everything tastes better when it's shaped like Texas.
And that everything should SMELL like Texas, all the time.
The H.E.B. mascot is a very friendly paper bag called the H.E.Buddy. Enough said.
They take pride in their local sports teams...
(OK, especially the San Antonio Spurs.)
Their original brand comes up with truly groundbreaking ideas, like bacon in oatmeal.
And bread that comes with the crust already removed, cause momma H.E.B. is lookin' out for ya.
H.E.B. employees are known as "partners," because Texas. They're also always SUPER nice.
Sometimes they get pretty creative with their displays...
Especially on holidays.
Even their coupons have a sense of humor.
At H.E.B., you can make your own six-pack from a huge selection of delicious craft beers.
The coolest H.E.B.s even have beer taps IN THE STORE.
And H.E.B. Plus even has movies, sorted handily by terrifying emotions.
Laughing at the creative brand names is a key element of any H.E.B. experience.
A trip to H.E.B. is a voyage of discovery (did you know this exists?!?).
Chip flavors that you can't get anywhere else.
Have you ever had watermelon soda? Pro tip: It's delicious.
We haven't even talked about the WHATABURGER ketchup you can buy right off their shelves.
If you're lucky, your H.E.B. has one of these in the parking lot.
If you're even luckier, you'll show up on a day when they're doing a crawfish boil in the parking lot.
At H.E.B., even the eggs have Texas pride.
And every story has a happy ending.
Because H.E.B. embraces Texas, and all that entails...
Which means it's basically paradise.
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