1.
"Just one more, and then I'll be prepared to grapple with the unending loneliness of my empty apartment."
2.
"The $536 worth of clothes I just put into a Forever 21 online shopping cart is definitely in my budget."
3.
"I'll just be in here for another couple hours, don't stay up for me!"
4.
"I think I only really need 4-5 hours of sleep a night, to be hone-zzzzz."
5.
"It's cool, the apartment I was able to afford in the city has plenty of room!"
7.
"Oh, no one is around to make food for me? I have to figure out how to do it myself or starve to death? WHAT A FUN PROJECT."
8.
"I am so ready for this."
9.
"How do I look? Can anyone see me?"
10.
"What were you saying? I got distracted thinking about death! LOL."
11.
"I love revisiting my old writing and art! Just because I've changed completely since then doesn't mean it's not interesting."
12.
"Oh, I have to walk there? Great, let me just figure out how to get out of this extremely comfortable chair."
13.
"Oh sure, being a parent is fantastic. I get at least 15-25 minutes a day of 'me time' when the kids are sleeping."
14.
"I definitely don't regret buying this cool motorcycle instead of a car. It's great!"
15.
"Oh, mom and dad are selling the house I grew up in? Good for them."
16.
"I don't think I look different at all, do I?"
17.
"Oh cool, I just realized I've sent 10,000 tweets. I feel like that's a great accomplishment, I'm really glad I spent so much time on it! "
18.
"I may have gained a couple pounds in the last couple months, but I'm not thinking about it."
19.
"Oh, I don't think I'm hungover again! Maybe I just ate something bad yesterday."
20.
"What do you mean I've been up here for 18 hours? I just needed a little break from the party."
21.
"I'm just going to stay in tonight — I'm not depressed, just need to catch up on a few episodes of Chopped I have recorded on the DVR!"
23.
"NO PRESENTS, NO PROBLEM! JUST HAVING A COOL GROWNUP BIRTHDAY WITH NO CAKE OR ANYTHING, SO FUN! BEING AN ADULT IS GREAT."
