9 Literary Cocktails to Quench Your Thirst for Knowledge (and Alcohol)

1/2 oz poison hemlock

1/2 oz Greek wine

1/2 oz club soda

Walk around the room and engage in philosophical dialogue with your peers. Drink slowly and do not be hasty, as this drink has a belated kick. You may feel a numbing sensation throughout your limbs -- it is advised to lay down and prepare yourself for a very long nap.

3 oz gin

Pomegranate juice (apple juice may be used if pomegranate is unavailable)

Garnish with sliced figs

Persuade your friends to join you in tasting this forbidden fruity drink. Warning: may awaken with regrets and shame over the sins of the night before.

3 oz Scotch whisky (must be Scotch)

Muddled eye of newt and toe of frog

1 1/2 oz club soda

Wash hands well after mixing. Serve to cherished guests.

1 lb of flesh, finely grated

1 bottle Kosher white wine

16 oz sparkling water (preferably sourced from the Venetian canals)

Aperol to taste

Combine in pitcher -- serves 4. Perfect to share with colleagues after a long, hard day of making financial deals.

3 oz vodka

3 shakes tabasco

Ice

Shake in a circular motion, about 9 times. This drink has kick enough to fortify a hopeless soul!

Cristal

Fresh blood orange juice

Sip while plotting revenge against all those who have wronged you.

3 oz sea water

1 1/2 oz vodka

Add ice and shake violently. Consuming too much of this drink may result in a sinking feeling.

3 oz whisky

Squeeze tart lemon

Muddled lemon rind and salt

Dash bitters

Combine in a highball glass and stir. Tartness may cause violent reaction upon first sip.

1 bottle Grey Goose vodka

16 oz soda

Lime

Mix in a glass pitcher. After a few too many of these, be sure to check your appearance in the bathroom mirror.