Posted on Feb 1, 2019

People Are Sharing The Totally Fake Things Their Parents Warned Them About As Kids And It's So Real

"Turning on the lights in the car while driving is illegal."

by Stephen LaConte

BuzzFeed Staff

Today, a Reddit thread asked users, "What dire warning from your parents turned out to be bullshit?" The thread quickly went viral, as more and more people started sharing the ridiculous things they were told as kids.

Warner Bros.

Here are some of the wildest, funniest, and dumbest things we believed in our youth:

1. "Turning on the lights in the car while driving is illegal."

2. "Eating watermelon seeds will cause one to grow in your stomach."

—GeraltofAmelia

3. "'People are going to push you to smoke cigarettes!' Everyone I've ever met who offers me a cigarette says the same thing when I tell them I don't smoke: 'Good for you, I wish I didn't.'"

—Nitemarephantom

4. "You have to learn math, because you're not going to always have a calculator on you when you grow up."

5. "That literally ANY college degree would lead to a guaranteed job, and it was the ONLY way to get a job."

—Dahhhkness

6. "'If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind.' Thoroughly tested and definitively false."

—fliterrisk

7. "'Gum takes seven years to digest.' This is when I figured out adults lie. Because I saw it in my poop. I just couldn't tell anybody, because I saw it...in my poop."

8. "My parents tried to get me to stop smoking pot as a teenager, for fear that I would live in their house until I was 30. I have worked in the legal marijuana industry for 5+ years now, and have made more money in that time than both of my parents have in their entire lives."

—Chinstrap_1

9. "'People you meet on the internet are all swindlers or serial killers.' Overall, the amount of people who are out there to get me was severely exaggerated."

—twenty_seven_owls

10. "'You'll never get a real job if you have tattoos/piercings.' I have tattoos, piercings, and blue hair. I'm also a highly employable medical professional."

11. "If I cross my eyes, they might end up staying like that."

—TheManWhoHasThePlan

12. "You have to wait after you eat to swim. If you don't, you'll sink."

—PasDePseudo

13. "You can't eat steak that is pink on the inside. You'll get sick."

14. "People will give me drugs to try to get me hooked."

—RoseyOneOne

15. "'Never get in a car with a stranger.' Joke's on you, Mom, I've now got an app on my phone to tell strangers I want to get in their car."

—McFeely_Smackup

16. "People who disobey their parents end up in prison."

17. "'If you sit too close to the TV, you will go blind.' I've been working in I.T. in front of a monitor for 20 years now, I'm 41 years old, and still 20/20."

—upnorth77

18. "'If you get in trouble at school it will go on your PERMANENT RECORD and ruin your life.' Not once has anyone, from college admissions to prospective employers to loan officers, so much as mentioned the legendary PERMANENT RECORD."

—SuzQP

19. "'If you shower during a thunderstorm, you WILL get struck by lightning.' Okay, Dad."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length or clarity.

People Are Sharing The Totally Fake Things Their Parents Warned Them About As Kids And It's So Real

Today, a Reddit thread asked users, "What dire warning from your parents turned out to be bullshit?" The thread quickly went viral, as more and more people started sharing the ridiculous things they were told as kids.

Here are some of the wildest, funniest, and dumbest things we believed in our youth:

1. "Turning on the lights in the car while driving is illegal."

2. "Eating watermelon seeds will cause one to grow in your stomach."

3. "'People are going to push you to smoke cigarettes!' Everyone I've ever met who offers me a cigarette says the same thing when I tell them I don't smoke: 'Good for you, I wish I didn't.'"

4. "You have to learn math, because you're not going to always have a calculator on you when you grow up."

5. "That literally ANY college degree would lead to a guaranteed job, and it was the ONLY way to get a job."

6. "'If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind.' Thoroughly tested and definitively false."

7. "'Gum takes seven years to digest.' This is when I figured out adults lie. Because I saw it in my poop. I just couldn't tell anybody, because I saw it...in my poop."

8. "My parents tried to get me to stop smoking pot as a teenager, for fear that I would live in their house until I was 30. I have worked in the legal marijuana industry for 5+ years now, and have made more money in that time than both of my parents have in their entire lives."

9. "'People you meet on the internet are all swindlers or serial killers.' Overall, the amount of people who are out there to get me was severely exaggerated."

10. "'You'll never get a real job if you have tattoos/piercings.' I have tattoos, piercings, and blue hair. I'm also a highly employable medical professional."

11. "If I cross my eyes, they might end up staying like that."

12. "You have to wait after you eat to swim. If you don't, you'll sink."

13. "You can't eat steak that is pink on the inside. You'll get sick."

14. "People will give me drugs to try to get me hooked."

15. "'Never get in a car with a stranger.' Joke's on you, Mom, I've now got an app on my phone to tell strangers I want to get in their car."

16. "People who disobey their parents end up in prison."

17. "'If you sit too close to the TV, you will go blind.' I've been working in I.T. in front of a monitor for 20 years now, I'm 41 years old, and still 20/20."

18. "'If you get in trouble at school it will go on your PERMANENT RECORD and ruin your life.' Not once has anyone, from college admissions to prospective employers to loan officers, so much as mentioned the legendary PERMANENT RECORD."

19. "'If you shower during a thunderstorm, you WILL get struck by lightning.' Okay, Dad."

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