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Women Are Sharing Things Men Do Without Realizing They're Being Scary, And It's A Must-Read

"Parking right next to my car in a dark and/or empty parking lot."

Women are sharing the things men do that scare them — and sometimes, the men don't even realize they are causing alarm.

a woman on the street looking uncomfortable by a man behind her

It all started when Reddit user u/Honnung posed a question: "Women of Reddit, what are things men do that scare you, but they don't realize it?"

A woman on the street looking uncomfortable

Here are some of the top-voted responses from users:

1. "Messaging you on a dating app, commenting that they found your profile and that they are in the same location as you — they can see you, but you can't see them. I had a guy do this on a fully packed train I was on to go to work. I'm not an anxious person, but it felt really uncomfortable."

2. "Flirting is fun so long as you don't 'flirt' by asking me where I live, and if I live alone, and if I know people in the area. If you want to chat, flirt, get to know me? Don't start with the questions that set off alarm bells in my head."


3. "'Jokingly' using your strength to move me or keep me from moving. If I want to go home and you’re pulling me back, I am not actually going along with it. You are stronger than I am and I literally cannot leave."


4. "Blocking my path or physically holding me in place if they are not done talking to me. Basically, using their strength or size to restrict my motion in any way."


5. "I've been approached several times in public by random men who say they want to be friends with me. One leaned in really close to have a conversation and asked me where I was from and where I live. Another grabbed my hands and remarked on how soft my skin is. Another one literally locked arms with me and dragged me to a coffee shop to 'get to know me' and then later told me to come with him to a more private place for a view of the city."

a woman being harassed on the street by a shouting man

6. "Hitting on you in locations where you cannot escape (enclosed places like elevators, or workplaces)."


7. "While talking online when I say, 'I don't know about meeting up,' and their response is, 'You are more likely to be raped by someone you actually know in person.' Yup...Not meeting up now."


8. "Following you to your car to get your number. Don't. Ever. Do. That."


9. "Any time someone tries really hard to convince me he's a 'nice guy.' Every guy I've met that desperately brings it up every chance he gets isn't usually very nice. It always makes me wonder, what are they trying to hide? Like why do I have to think you're nice? Prove it with your actions, don't tell me repeatedly."

10. "Calling women beautiful as much as possible. Once or twice is nice, if you know them, but if you don't know the guy and he says it too much, it freaks me out."


11. "Standing in doorways or blocking exits."


12. "Wanting to go to a secluded location if I don't know you well. Men on Tinder suggest going on hikes or taking a walk after dinner on first dates. Doesn't even cross their minds that I would not want to be alone with them on a date."


13. "Driving really aggressively and having road rage. When I was younger and dating, I had so many experiences as a passenger with young guys who were otherwise normal but really intense and scary when they got behind the wheel. It always seemed like a red flag."

a woman taking the car keys away from her boyfriend

14. "Touching you in any way without permission, even if it seems harmless to you. Unfortunately that happens rather often in retail. Don't touch my shoulder when you talk to me. Don't stroke my hair. Don't caress my hand when you give me your money. Don't touch my ass or my boobs or anything at all! Please respect my personal space. It freaks me out when male strangers come near me and touch me in any way."


15. "Random touching and prodding. Had some guys in school that would just come up and poke you in the sides. Freaked me the fuck out."


16. "Parking right next to my car in a dark and/or empty parking lot. I've had this conversation with several girlfriends, but when I've mentioned it to men they had no idea about what goes through our mind when we see that."


17. "When I say I don't like something — like something he said, or did, or joked about — and he says 'you secretly like it :).' That makes my skin crawl and alarm bells start going off. Don't tell women what they like."

18. "Breaking or hitting things out of anger."


19. "Catcalling."


20. "Choking during sex or being rough without asking. Fucking ask. It's not okay."


21. "Strangers complimenting me on my body really freaks me out. I also don't like people commenting on my hair, but that's because I'm ginger and I get a lot of sexualized comments."

A woman receiving a text and making an uncomfortable face

22. "Meeting me at my job and asking for my work schedule so they can 'see me more often.'"


23. "Telling women to smile."


24. "Thinking 'no' isn't the final answer. Believing that with a little more convincing, I'll say yes. It makes me believe you don't respect me and worries me about how far you will go after I say no."


25. "When a guy won't give up. He doesn't even have to be physically present. Being an adamant dick over text is enough to terrorize you sometimes."

26. "Liking every single picture with my face on Instagram in a period of two minutes."


And finally...

27. "Asking for way too much information. Where I live, who I live with, where I work, what hours I work, Nearly wanting a schedule of my life in order to schedule a date."

You can read the full thread of responses here.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.