Hi, world. My name's Stephen LaConte, and long before I was a writer here at BuzzFeed, I was a bartender at a few different establishments that shall not be named.
A lot of bartenders get into the job because they love people — myself included! But that doesn't mean customers aren't occasionally very annoying to deal with.
So, without further ado, here are 19 things that you should stop doing at bars, unless you want to be secretly judged by your bartender:
1. Asking for your drink to be made "strong."
Your drink comes with a shot of liquor — usually 1.5 to 2 ounces, depending on the cocktail and the bar's policies. If you want more than that, order a double. And be prepared to pay extra.
2. Being scared to order "girly" drinks.
If you want that pink, tropical martini with the umbrella in it, please just order it! I've literally had customers ask me to make them one of those specialty cocktails, but in a "manly" glass so they don't look "girly." So silly. No one cares what you're drinking. And those umbrellas are FUN, damnit.
3. Ordering mojitos.
If you really have your heart set on one, your bartender shouldn't give you a hard time about it. But just FYI, they're a huge pain in the ass to make, and most bartenders dread them. If the bar is particularly busy, maybe order something simpler.
4. Calling female bartenders names like "sweetie" and "hon."
As a guy, I didn't have to deal with this personally, but I saw it with my coworkers all the time. Stop that shit! It's creepy and condescending.
5. Not tipping on to-go orders.
A lot of places have bartenders handle the to-go orders, which can be a shitty gig because so few people tip! You don't have to tip the same as you would for table service, but you should leave something for the work involved in putting your order together.
6. Demanding that we change what's on the TV.
There are times when it's fine to ask — for example, if you're the only one at the bar, or if there's a major event going on like the Super Bowl. But generally speaking, please keep the TV requests to a minimum. If other customers are watching whatever is currently on the TV, you're putting your bartender in a very awkward situation. Also, some places have restrictions on what networks/games they're allowed to show.
7. Not closing out your bill at the bar before heading to your dinner table.
This one depends on the establishment — but a lot of restaurants don't share tips between servers and bartenders, which means if you transfer your tab from the bar to the dinner table, the bartender will not get tipped for the drinks they made you. It's better practice to close out your tab at the bar before heading to your table, if you can.
8. Tipping poorly on complicated, time-consuming cocktails.
Tipping a dollar on a cheap pint of beer? Fine. Tipping a dollar on a fancy handmade cocktail? Not so much. And if you're ordering those pesky mojitos...tip a lot.
9. Ripping up your coaster or beer label into a billion pieces.
Look. I've been guilty of this too. It's a nervous habit!!! But if you do it, please clean up after yourself before you leave.
10. Snapping to get a bartender's attention.
We're bartenders, not dogs. I promise if you do this, your bartender will make you wait as long as possible before getting to you.
11. Waving your cash around to get a bartender's attention.
Newsflash: Everyone at this bar is paying for their drinks. You're not special! Wait your turn to be served like everyone else, please.
12. Asking for free drinks/shots.
Yes, you still have to pay for your drinks, even if it's your birthday. Sorry, bud.
13. Reaching over the bar to grab something behind the counter.
Whether you want some extra lemon wedges, napkins, or a straw, please just ask the bartender. Reaching into the garnish bins with your dirty hands is so unsanitary. Also just plain rude.
14. Complaining about someone else getting served before you.
Of course any good bartender will try to serve people in the order they arrived. But mistakes happen, and it's hard to keep tabs on every customer when the bar is busy. Have a little patience, and trust that any slights are almost certainly accidental.
15. Complaining about being cut off.
It's rare that bartenders have to do this, but when they do, it's for your own safety. It's also (probably) because you're making an ass out of yourself in front of everyone. Chill out, have a glass of water, and call yourself a ride home.
16. Asking for "the usual."
Unless you REALLY know your bartender well, and are 1,000% positive they'll remember your order, please just specify what you want. Bartenders might serve hundreds of customers each week — many of them regulars — and it's basically impossible to keep tabs on everyone's favorites.
17. Taking up a seat with your coat or purse when the bar is busy.
Your jacket isn't gonna tip me. That customer who's waiting for a seat will. Please move your stuff!
18. Getting mad when we ask to see ID.
It's the law. We'll get fired if we don't do it. And getting mad about it only makes us more suspicious that you might be underage.
And finally...
19. Thinking we're flirting with you.
It's our job to be nice, chat you up, and generally keep you happy. But don't mistake good customer service for flirting. There are lines. Don't cross 'em.
(PS: If you really feel like there's a connection between you and your bartender, it might be okay to do something non-aggressive and non-confrontational, like leaving your number on your receipt. But take extra caution to make sure you're not doing anything creepy, and recognize that it's quite possible the bartender will not be interested.)
