Note: Please ONLY read this post if you are the CEO of Netflix. Thank you for understanding!
Hello, CEO of Netflix. It's me, a '90s kid who spends most of my free time staring at your website! I have an URGENT MATTER to discuss with you.
THERE NEEDS TO BE A NEW MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY MOVIE.
Now, in case you weren't aware, the Olsen twins made MANY iconic movies in the '90s and early '00s. Their films ushered in a new golden age for straight-to-VHS cinema.
There was Billboard Dad, in which the twins committed an adorable act of vandalism to help their dad get laid.
There was Switching Goals, which was their obligatory contribution to the twins-switching-places genre.
And there was Passport to Paris, in which the twins got a passport to Paris.
Each movie was a true cinematic masterpiece. They traveled to all sorts of exotic locations like Australia, Italy, and the Bahamas.
Their characters always had ~funky~ '90s names like Charli, Leila, Madison, Riley, and Riley. (Yes, they used the name Riley in two separate projects.)
And they were always up to some sort of hijinks! Whether they were joining the witness protection program or pretending to be in the United Nations, they were always having FUN and meeting up with CUTE MATCHING HUNKS.
But then, one fateful day in 2004...the movies stopped coming. Without any warning, the Olsen twins retired from acting and began a new life designing clothes and marrying the French elite.
And listen. I'm happy they're happy. But we need them back now.
We just need one more movie!!! We need to tie up the loose ends. We need a chance to say goodbye. We need CLOSURE.
There are so many more countries to visit! So many more shenanigans to get up to! SO MANY MORE HUNKS TO RIDE IN CONVERTIBLES WITH!
Netflix, the millennials are having a very hard time right now. They need this movie in 2018, and you alone can make it.
So please. BRING THEM BACK!!!
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