back to top
Tasty

17 Utter Lies Your Server Will Tell You Without Batting An Eye

It's time to come clean.

Posted on

1. "The special today is SO good."

Bravo

THE TRUTH: I haven't actually tried it, but our kitchen ordered way too much chicken and now they're trying to get rid of it so please just order the damn chicken piccata special.

2. "Unfortunately, our espresso machine is broken."

THE TRUTH: Espresso is a pain in the butt to make and I've got 11 other tables to tend to, so please just order a normal coffee.
Ryanjlane / Getty Images

THE TRUTH: Espresso is a pain in the butt to make and I've got 11 other tables to tend to, so please just order a normal coffee.

3. "Sorry, I'm not allowed to change the TV!"

ABC

THE TRUTH: I change the TV all the time, but my shift is bad enough right now and I'm not about to spend the rest of it watching HOCKEY.

4. "Your baby is so cute!"

THE TRUTH: I'm *so* excited to spend the next twenty minutes picking Cheerios off the floor and wiping applesauce off every table and chair!!!
Juanmonino / Getty Images

THE TRUTH: I'm *so* excited to spend the next twenty minutes picking Cheerios off the floor and wiping applesauce off every table and chair!!!

5. "Follow me, I have a GREAT table for you guys."

THE TRUTH: It's the only table that's available.
Reklamlar / Getty Images

THE TRUTH: It's the only table that's available.

6. "Sorry, the system only lets me split the check two ways."

NBC

THE TRUTH: Of course the system WOULD let me split the check amongst all 20 of you, but it would take forever and I'm not doing it.

7. "Thanks for the feedback. I'll definitely talk to the chef about that."

youtube.com

THE TRUTH: I will not talk to the chef about it.

8. "Sorry, that table is reserved."

THE TRUTH: It's not actually reserved, but I'm the only server working right now and I need you to sit at least somewhat close to the other tables I'm serving. Keep it moving, sorry!
Brianajackson / Getty Images

THE TRUTH: It's not actually reserved, but I'm the only server working right now and I need you to sit at least somewhat close to the other tables I'm serving. Keep it moving, sorry!

9. "Oh, that dish you ordered that never showed up? It's coming right out!"

Bravo

THE TRUTH: I totally forget to put that order in and I'm gonna go do it now.

10. "Sorry, the kitchen's a little slow today."

Bravo

THE TRUTH: Again, I totally forgot to put your order in and I'm gonna go do it now.

11. "Sorry, we just ran out of [insert thing you want] a minute ago!"

THE TRUTH: There's actually *one* left but I'm ordering it to-go because my shift is almost over and I'm starving.
Seventyfour / Getty Images

THE TRUTH: There's actually *one* left but I'm ordering it to-go because my shift is almost over and I'm starving.

12. "I'll check with my manager to see if we can make an exception."

MTV

THE TRUTH: I'll go stand in the back room for two minutes doing nothing before coming out and telling you "no" again.

13. "Oops, it looks like the kitchen got your order wrong."

NBC

THE TRUTH: There's a good chance I rang in the order wrong, but you're not gonna hear that from me!

14. "Yes, it's organic."

THE TRUTH: I have no fucking clue if it's organic.
Peangdao / Getty Images

THE TRUTH: I have no fucking clue if it's organic.

15. "[Insert menu item you asked about] is absolutely amazing!"

NBC

THE TRUTH: Sometimes it really IS amazing. Sometimes it's bad but I'm not allowed to say that. And sometimes I've never tried it at all.

16. "We're all out of that beer, sorry!"

THE TRUTH: Honestly, there's another keg in our fridge but swapping it out is a PROCESS and I don't have the time right now.
Master1305 / Getty Images

THE TRUTH: Honestly, there's another keg in our fridge but swapping it out is a PROCESS and I don't have the time right now.

And finally...

17. "Everything is homemade."

NBC

THE TRUTH: I once worked at a restaurant that boasted its ~homemade ketchup~. That shit was Heinz!

The best things at three price points