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    Justin Bieber Said A "Lack Of Trust" In His Marriage To Hailey Caused Him To Walk "On Eggshells" Around Her

    "The first year of marriage was really tough."

    Justin Bieber is on the cover of the May issue of GQ — and in a candid interview with the magazine, he opened up about his past drug abuse, his path to getting healthy, and his "tough" first year of marriage to Hailey.

    As Justin explains it, 2017 was the year when his mental health hit rock bottom, and he used drugs to cope.

    Justin wearing a sweater, baseball cap, and diamond chain necklace
    Jon Kopaloff / Getty Images

    "There was a sense of still yearning for more,” he told GQ. "It was like I had all this success and it was still like: I’m still sad, and I’m still in pain... And so for me, the drugs were a numbing agent to just continue to get through."

    Noam Galai / Getty Images

    Justin revealed that his drug abuse got so intense that his security team used to sneak into his bedroom while he slept to check his pulse and verify that he was alive.

    Axelle / FilmMagic / Getty Images

    Justin says he was saved from drugs by many things — including his own desire to get healthy, his faith, and his relationship with Hailey. But Justin admitted to GQ that their first year of marriage was anything but easy.

    Jean Baptiste Lacroix / FilmMagic / Getty Images

    "The first year of marriage was really tough, because there was a lot, going back to the trauma stuff," he said, referring to his mental health struggles that stemmed from a life spent in the spotlight.

    Justin and Hailey kissing on a red carpet
    Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images

    "There was just lack of trust," he continued. "There was all these things that you don’t want to admit to the person that you’re with, because it’s scary. You don’t want to scare them off by saying, 'I’m scared.'"

    Justin said his fear of being vulnerable with Hailey caused him to walk "on eggshells" around her in their first year of married life.

    Axelle / FilmMagic / Getty Images

    Justin went on to explain how they've managed to open up their lines of communication as a married couple, saying that he's now experiencing stability for the first time in his life:

    We’re just creating these moments for us as a couple, as a family, that we’re building these memories. And it’s beautiful that we have that to look forward to. Before, I didn’t have that to look forward to in my life. My home life was unstable. Like, my home life was not existing. I didn’t have a significant other. I didn’t have someone to love. I didn’t have someone to pour into. But now I have that.

    You can read Justin's full interview in GQ.

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