Jada Pinkett Smith Said She Doesn't Know Will Smith "At All" Since Quarantine Started, But They're "Building A Friendship"
"I have to be honest. I think one of the things that I realized is that I don't know Will at all."
And in the conversation, she was surprisingly candid about the current state of her marriage with Will Smith and how she feels like she doesn't know him "at all" right now.
"I have to be honest. I think one of the things that I realized is that I don't know Will at all," she revealed.
"Let me tell you. I feel like there's a layer [of knowing him] that you get to. But life gets busy, and you create these stories in your head, and then you hold onto these stories. And that is your idea of your partner. But that's not who your partner is."
Jada says that quarantine has forced her to "dissolve all the stories, and all of the ideas of Will that I've built," and start working on a new relationship without any preconceptions:
The thing that Will and I are learning to do is be friends. Because you get into all of these ideas of what intimate relationships are supposed to look like, and what marriages are supposed to be.
"So Will and I are in the process of him taking the time to learn to love himself, me taking the time to learn to love myself, and us building a friendship along the way."
"Let me tell you, that's been something. To be married to someone for 20-some-odd years and then realize, 'I don't know you, and you don't know me.'"
Jada also invited her and Will's marriage counselor of many years, Michaela Boehm, onto the show to give some wisdom on this. Boehm explained that quarantine can bring out a "fight, flight, or freeze" response in couples.
"I go straight to 'fight,' as Michaela knows," Jada said.
But Jada added that she thinks fighting with Will is "not the option" right now, and shared how she talks herself down when things between them get heated:
I'm really in a position where that is really not the option. And having to really just take a breath, take a minute, sit on my hands, before I say or do anything. Recognizing I'm in fight, so be quiet. Don't say anything. Then just giving myself time until I can get into a different space.