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    19 Tweets That Will Make Any Hot Mess Say, "Me As Hell"

    My whole life summed up in 19 tweets.

    1.

    My debit card is more like a gift card... not sure how much is on this, but we’ll give it a try

    2.

    Me putting my foot down and telling my friends I’m not drinking tonight

    3.

    everyone is pissed at me for saying i think gumby looks like he'd be good to eat

    4.

    Turns out the cream I’ve been putting in my coffee each morning that I brought home from Africa has an alcohol content of 17% .. no wonder I’ve been having such great days lately

    5.

    Me in HS: OMG i cant wait to go be on my own and decorate my house Me now:

    6.

    7.

    I took an uber alone at 2am and when I got out my uber driver was like β€œhave fun, get that dick!” and I said β€œhell yes thank you!!” because I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was being dropped at my moms house cause we have to wake up early to celebrate my dogs birthday

    8.

    I don't understand why I can never finish a bag of lettuce before it expires in a week but can finish a BUCKET of chocolate pretzels that is gunna be fine until 2025 in one sitting.

    9.

    i’m taken πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’πŸ”’β£οΈβ£οΈπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜for granted

    10.

    waking up after sleeping with a tank top on

    11.

    my 8 yr old neighbor saw my new keychain and said β€œis that your boyfriend?????”

    12.

    last night i ordered a vanilla iced coffee at tim hortons and the guy handed it to me and said β€œis that good? i can add more vanilla if you need me to. just let me know and i will” and now i think he’s the only person that cares about me

    13.

    Me calling my dad when my car starts making noise or when the engine light comes on

    14.

    15.

    I trust Chick-fil-A so much that I don’t even check my bag and if they get my order wrong I just assume they know what’s best for me.

    16.

    17.

    "Don't be happy, worry," is my personal motto honestly

    18.

    waiter: we only have tap water, is that okay? me: listen i wouldn’t even care if you shot me with a gun

    19.

    I have a research paper due in 4 hours and the letter M on my keyboard is broken

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