If I asked you to name history's most brilliant inventor, you'd probably answer with Thomas Edison or Leonardo da Vinci or something, right?
Well guess what? You'd be WRONG AS HELL! Because as of this week, history's greatest inventor is officially JOHN MAYER.
And here's proof. Look at what John Mayer fuckin' tweeted this week:
They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another.
Eli Whitney is shaking!!! The cotton gin could NEVER!!!
It is, of course, an absolutely ridiculous concept. But it is also somehow the greatest idea I have ever heard — and from John Mayer, of all people???
THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A SECOND. You could make new friends, commiserate on the long wait times, debate the existence of extraterrestrials, tell a knock-knock joke. Whatever the heck you want to do with your new phone pal!!!
I'm not the only person excited about this prospect. Look at what Chance The Rapper has to say about it:
Can John be the president of ideas at least https://t.co/xbUTfmx0HD
And Twitter is truly, madly, deeply shook. The brainstorms have already begun:
@JohnMayer And at any time, people can sing whatever hold music they wish was playing.
@JohnMayer Press 1 if you want to chat with an old lady, press 2 for a middle age American man, press 3 if you want… https://t.co/M2BfA84qaN
@JohnMayer "Uhhh yeah hey can you put me back on hold Gayle was just about to tell me her dogs' names."
So here's the deal: If you're reading this and you happen to be the CEO of Time Warner Cable or Verizon or Bank of America or whatever, I'm gonna need you to put this in place at your company immediately.
We don't need your soft jazz hold music. We just need each other.
