Dax Shepard Opened Up About His Drug Relapse This Year, And How Kristen Bell's Response "Saved His Life"
"I feel guilty saying this, but I still loved this year immensely."
As 2020 draws to a close, Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell took to Dax's podcast, Armchair Expert, to reflect on the challenges they faced together this year — most notably, Dax's struggle with addiction.
In case you missed it, Dax revealed earlier this year that after 16 years of sobriety from alcohol and drugs, he was seeking treatment for abuse of narcotics. And in his podcast episode today, Dax thanked Kristen — as well as his cohost, Monica Padman — for standing by his side and making him feel "safe" during such a difficult time.
"I can't imagine having to admit [the relapse] to other people and feeling as safe as I did that you guys wouldn't hate me," he said.
"I hated me at that point and so, to be able to tell you guys and feel unconditionally loved and that I would be accepted was really special," he continued. "It saved my life."
Kristen also took the opportunity to praise her husband for his honesty, "even at [his] most shameful moments."
"I would like to thank all parties involved because I am so appreciative of being able to go through every flavor of emotion with Monica and also to have you, the father of my children, be so able to be honest, even at your most shameful moments — is what saves you."
And she commended his "courage and boldness" in seeking help when he needed it, saying, "Nobody saved you but you":
Nobody saved you but you. And your courage and boldness to say, "I feel like I'm slipping" or "I did slip and I need to be honest before it gets worse" and I'm just grateful to all parties involved. I think we did a really good job, team.
Despite all the challenges that 2020 brought their way, Dax says he actually had a "great year."
"I feel guilty saying this, but I still loved this year immensely," he admitted. "I loved this year. I had a great year."
Kristen reminded Dax that they were "very lucky to say that," given the challenges that so many families have faced this year — but Dax maintained that despite the myriad struggles he faced in his own life, he still believed 2020 was "still a great year for me":
I'm saying though even with two surgeries and a relapse and shame spiral and all this stuff, still a great year for me.