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Coffee Is Actually Terrible And People Who Drink It Are Even Worse

This is an intervention.

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Now, don't get me wrong: I'm sure that many of you are good, upstanding citizens of the world. You are doctors, teachers, students, parents. You are important! But every morning, you drink a giant cup of steaming bean water. And for this reason, you are horrible.

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And before you start blabbering about ~ACQUIRED TASTE~, let me save you the time: Yes, the more you drink coffee, the less awful it seems. This is called Stockholm syndrome, and it is a bad defense of coffee.

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And then there are the people who drink their coffee black. These folks love to brag about drinking black coffee. Why? Because coffee tastes bad, so they feel like a badass drinking it straight.

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You arrive late to things because you "had to get a coffee."

everyone: why were you late me: wow traffic was insane I am literally so sorry also me:

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You even made Lady Gaga degrade herself in the name of coffee. LADY FUCKING GAGA!!!

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  1. Isn't coffee bad???

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yes, coffee is bad.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I wish I could say "no," but since you didn't make that an option in this poll, yes coffee is bad.
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Isn't coffee bad???
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes, coffee is bad.
  2.  
    vote votes
    I wish I could say "no," but since you didn't make that an option in this poll, yes coffee is bad.

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