I Ranked Every Single Food Antoni Has Made On "Queer Eye"

    I'd eat his avocados any day of the week.

    Stephen LaConte
    by Stephen LaConte

    BuzzFeed Staff

    If you have a heart in your chest or tear ducts in your eyes, you're probably obsessed with the Queer Eye reboot on Netflix.

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    No Queer Eye episode would be complete without Antoni — beautiful, kind, avocado-loving Antoni — trying his best to drop a little ~culinary knowledge~ on us all.

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    Now, I ADORE Antoni. But just like the many folks online who have wondered if he actually knows how to cook, I occasionally find myself going "hmmmmm" when he whips out yet another avocado in the kitchen. Still, you can't help but love the guy.

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    So I decided to rank every food item Antoni has made so far on Queer Eye. Let's start with the most questionable, and work our way up to the best.

    15. Hot dogs:

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    The heterosexuals already know how to grill hot dogs, Antoni! They don't need a lesson on this. And putting crushed potato chips on top? I can see why a straight boy would think that's a good idea, but it's your job to know better.

    14. The banana pudding and macaroni salad that he *watched* Tammye make:

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    This is the episode where Antoni declares that Tammye already knows how to cook, so instead he is going to learn from her. Antoni, that is not how this show works!!! That's like Bobby telling someone, "Hey, your apartment is already pretty nice, so you're gonna come over to my house and re-tile my bathroom instead."

    (Tammye, for the record, gets an A+ for those dishes.)

    13. Peanuts masala:

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    This was for the Burning Man guy, Jason, who admits (rather sadly) that all he eats are microwavable meals and nuts. So Antoni teaches him how to cook....FANCIER NUTS?? Help that boy make an actual meal, please!

    12. The avocado and grapefruit salad served with sangria:

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    I get that the men on this show aren't professional chefs, but surely they can handle something a *little* more complex than a two-ingredient salad. Still, I'm curious to try this.

    11. Grilled peach salad with heirloom tomatoes:

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    Again with the two-ingredient salads! Slightly more sophisticated than the first, but we can do better.

    10. Remy's family recipes and whiskey punch:

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    Helping Remy learn some family recipes to feel more connected to his loved ones? Great! Ruining a perfectly good macaroni and cheese by adding PEAS? Less great.

    9. A picnic of store-bought goods and homemade cauliflower, served in Chinese food take-out containers:

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    As the wise Ina Garten once said, "Store bought is fine." Antoni clearly took that to heart. To be fair, he did roast his own cauliflower — and those take-out containers were a very nice, very Pinteresty touch.

    8. Chili and pork tenderloin canapés:

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    Okay, now we're getting somewhere! A big pot of chili is a practical, easy choice for a father of six. But when Antoni showed him how to make the pork tenderloin canapés, he conveniently left out how to actually make the pork tenderloin. Instead, he just assembles the meat on bread. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

    7. Guacamole and margaritas:

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    I'm not sure that chips and booze are the sort of life-changing food choices this show's all about — but Tom proudly calls himself a creature of habit, so Antoni was smart to keep things simple here.

    6. Grilled cheese for a crowd:

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    I was slightly skeptical about this one, since grilled cheese is *very* easy to do, but Antoni ultimately won me over by having Neal make them for a big group of friends. This was about helping Neal come out of his shell, and on that front it was a success.

    5. Fresh pasta with Amatriciana sauce for the whole family:

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    This is what every Queer Eye food segment should be: giving the Hero a simple, go-to dish they can make on the regular. Leo DID mess this one up pretty badly in the end — but if he keeps at it, he'll learn.

    4. Poke, served two different ways:

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    Skyler wanted to learn how to prepare raw fish, and poke was a great idea. It can easily be a dinner for one or an appetizer to share when his circle of friends comes over. Smart!

    3. Tahdig:

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    Arian had to break some bad news to his mom in this episode, so teaching him how to make a traditional meal that she enjoys is a nice gesture. And it looks BOMB. Good job, Antoni!

    2. Arepas con queso fundido and grilled vegetables:

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    Maybe I'm biased by the presence of melted cheese, but OMG this looked good. AJ pulled it off perfectly on his own, too.

    1. Literally just eggs:

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    You heard me! Now, you might think I'd rank this episode down at the bottom with the hot dog one, because eggs are rather basic. But guess what? YOU'D BE WRONG! This was Antoni's best episode, hands down. He gave Sean a practical kitchen skill he can use all the time — and he helped the guy socialize a bit by turning it into a contest with local teens.

    It's all well and good to teach the Heroes how to make gourmet meals, fancy salads, and unusual appetizers, but equipping them with a lifelong skill that will help them live a better life, every single day? That's what this show is all about!

    Anyway, that's just MY opinion. What's yours? Let me know in the comments. And Antoni, I'll eat your avocados any day of the week.