Hello, friends. My name's Stephen LaConte, I'm a writer here at BuzzFeed, and according to my friends and family, I'm pretty darn good at giving advice.
So I've invited the world to message me on Instagram and Twitter (@StephenLC in both places) with your biggest problems — and I'm solving 'em right here on BuzzFeed, one DM at a time. Let's get right to it.
Today we've got this young woman who recently discovered Tinder on her boyfriend's phone — and that's just the start of her problems with him:
Here's what you should do: Dump him. Please, for the love of everything, dump this man.
Honestly, my advice could stop right there because the only thing you should do at this point is dump your boyfriend. But I'll go on anyway because I think there's a chance you already know you should dump him — and maybe you just need a little pep talk to work up the strength to do it. So here's that pep talk, just in case.
If any one of the issues you outlined in your DM was the only problem in your relationship, maybe you could find a way through it. Maybe you could get over catching him on Tinder. Maybe you could get over him meeting up with another girl. Maybe you could get over him lying about communications with his ex. All of these things are serious violations, but if one of them was the ONLY indiscretion in an otherwise solid relationship, maybe it would be worth trying to work through. Maybe.
But when you put all of these problems together, it paints a very clear picture of a man who is simply not worth any of this shit. You'll never be able to trust him again — and even if you could, he certainly does not deserve all the time and energy it would take for you to get there. So dump him.
Just look at all the red flags you managed to squeeze into your relatively short DM: He's on dating apps. He's flirting with other girls. He's meeting up with those other girls. He never calls you beautiful. He calls these other girls beautiful. He's trying to hang out with his ex. He hides all of this from you. He lies to your face when you confront him. You feel like you can't trust a single thing he says.
I'm reflecting these things back at you because sometimes it's hard to see your relationship for what it really is when you're so deep inside it. And it's even harder to see your relationship for what it is when you've got a boyfriend who lies right to your face about everything — even clear, plain, observable facts in front of you.
If there's any part of you that wonders whether you're the crazy one here, or whether you're making a big deal out of nothing, please let me assure you that you're not. You're in a bad, toxic relationship, and it's time to get out of it.
So break up with him. Do it however you feel most comfortable, but do it soon. Don't wait for things to get worse than they already are. And whatever you do, please don't ever let this guy weasel his way back into your life. He certainly sounds sleazy enough to try. Let this be a clean and final break.
Anyway. That's your pep talk to go dump this man. Please go do it! And if anyone else reading this right now is in a similar situation, consider this your pep talk too. Not all relationships are worth salvaging — especially toxic ones. Dump him, dump her, dump them. Dump anyone who treats you like shit. You deserve better.
TL;DR: Dump him.
That's all the advice I'm giving today, folks, but if you've got any words of wisdom for our DMer, please share them in the comments. I'll be reading...
PS: Do YOU have a problem that you want fixed in front of thousands of internet strangers? DM me! I'm @StephenLC on Instagram and @StephenLC on Twitter. Just be sure to read the rules below first. See you in the DMs!
