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Top 5 Reasons Only Super Geniuses Get A Cellular Enabled Smartwatch

The very dishonest mainstream media will try to convince you not to get that high-end, cellular enabled smartwatch, sad!

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5. You already have a totally rad life, why do you need more of it in battery form?


You love charging your devices, and the extra radio means less battery life. Also, charging mats are from the future, and you're living in 3017.

2. Continuing conversations in porta-johns while on a brisk power walk has always been a chore.


Until now that is! Rocket scientists, brain surgeons and now you have a chance to poop and chat, hands free. Wiping is totally optional for deities like us.

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