Stephanie Mack: A History

This is only a Harry Potter pun if you’d like it to be.

1. Hello! My name is Stephanie Mack.

2. I recently graduated from Florida State University.

Rachel Johnson / Via

Check out my résumé here!

3. Did I mention Florida State University?

Party on, distant uncles and bored family friends. Party on.

4. BuzzFeed is the dream, y’all.

After 2 cups of coffee and a mildly satisfying breakfast burrito, I decided to use BuzzFeed itself to explain why I would be a great fit for the company that changed the way people share information!

5. “Work hard, play hard.”

I may be last to leave the office, but I’ll always be first to help plan this month’s themed happy hour.

Alternate Endings:
… I’ll always be first to bring the extra ‘unused meeting pizza’ upstairs for everyone to enjoy.

… I’ll always be first to help make necessary matching sweatbands for the company dodgeball team.

… I’ll always be first to send laser-targeted GIF responses to your ‘TGIF’ email.

6. I try my best to liven up the office posting boards:

7. While I would never steal someone’s food from the office fridge, I know a greasy miracle when I see one:

8. Let’s keep this party going with some background information, shall we?

9. I am an avid entertainment nerd, so dressing up for any sort of event or premiere is one of my favorite pastimes.

The likeness is uncanny!

10. And then this happened.

We tried.

11. And this.

Despite the obvious sign, at least 5 people asked me if I was Seneca Crane from the Hunger Games. At The Avengers premiere.

12. Followed swiftly by this.

Take a wild guess.

13. And a little of that.

I am so, so sorry.

15. Additionally, if I encounter anything having to do with The Boy Who Lived, I will immediately take the most cringe-worthy photos mankind has ever seen:

Awkwardly ruining someone’s coffee date!

Awkwardly hiding my depression that Diagon Alley wasn’t open yet.

Must have left the keys in my other robes… Awkward.

18. Okay, so we all agree I have a pretty solid grip on the entertainment industry.

True, true. But that’s what personal websites are for, right?

19. So how could I contribute to the already amazing BuzzFeed Team?

20. For starters, I know the importance of spotting pure moments of social media failure:

No, YOU have a good weekend, American Airlines!

21. And having the good sense to document said failures for future use.

Pure joy, in its lowest-quality Snapchat form.

22. Speaking of Arrested Development, here’s video evidence that God does indeed exist:

23. And I know that when it comes to taking selfies, great timing is the key to success.

24. Last New Year’s Eve, 3 people from high school stopped me at a bar to yell, ‘You have the best cover photos!’

Arielle Calderon / Via

Though 2014 had barely begun, I (sadly) knew those comments had already made my year. (Giving all the props to Arielle Calderon for this gem, though.)

25. There’s only one thing that could top it: Becoming a BuzzFeed Fellow!

Too much? Too much. Moving on.

26. Though I’ve come a long way since my first Facebook post, it’s moments like these that contributed to the unique voice I have today.

28. Nope. Not one.

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