1. Before the wine tour.
“YAY YAY YAY WINE TOUR! I AM SO EXCITEDDDDDDD.”
2. When you arrive at the first winery.
“Let’s do this!”
3. As you’re tasting your first wine.
“Yum yum yumyumyumyumyum.”
6. As they offer you the bucket to spit the wine into.
“No no, no thank you. I have no use for that.”
7. As you’re leaving the first winery.
“Already? But, wines! I want more wines! OK byeeeeeee love you.”
8. As you’re on your way to the second winery.
“This is so exciting and I’m having so much fun!”
10. When they give you a really tiny taste of something.
“EXCUSE ME I AM NOT DRUNK YET PLEASE KEEP POURING OK THANKS.”
11. When the wine is goooooooood.
13. When you have a definite buzz on and it’s the middle of the afternoon.
“Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
18. When you’re fucked.
20. When you’re really fucked.
“Guys I forgot where my tongue was and I bit it ow.”
21. When you feel a little sick in the car.
“Too many hills on this tour ew.”
22. When it’s time to go home.
“OK BEDTIME WHAT TIME IS IT? 6PM? YEP SOUNDS GOOD GOODNIGHT XOXO.”