1.When you're walking briskly and someone cuts you off and it is OBVIOUSLY AND TOTALLY ON PURPOSE, only to have them continue to walk at a glacial pace.
2.When you're walking behind someone and they stop dead in their tracks because they're an asshole with no regard for all of the HUMAN LIVES behind them.
3.When you get stuck behind a randomly spaced pack of individuals who are all walking really slowly and you’re TRAPPED.
4.When you get stuck behind a row of five fools who insist on walking in a line like they're about to break out and start performing a routine from the damn West Side Story.
5.When you have to cross diagonally at an intersection and basically it's just a giant clusterfuck of bullshit and dum dums.
6.When you constantly have to split up with your walking partner to weave through the foot traffic and it's A REAL INCONVENIENCE TBH.
7.When you're stuck behind someone significantly shorter than you and have to do that weird, horsey, clip-clop step that is unnatural to your legs and entire life.
8.When you try to calculate the distance to pace of the people around you in order to be the most efficient pedestrian out there, but everyone around you is a straight up fuckwit.
9.When you say "excuse me" but the person has their headphones in, so you're just stuck living your worst life, one pace behind them, repeating yourself like A FOOL.
10.When you say “excuse me” to someone on the phone, because you want to get past their loud, personal conversation, but they look like you’ve just told them to go fuck themselves, and you’re like “well fuck me for being polite”.
11.When you do that dumb "I'll go this way, oh no wait, you're going that way, oops! I'll go the other... oh God when will this end" dance with a stranger walking toward you.
12.When it rains and you have to devote all your energy to not losing an eye to a wayward umbrella because none of the other pedestrians seem to GIVE A SINGLE FUCK THAT YOU NEED YOUR GODDAMN EYESIGHT TO DO YOUR JOB IN LIFE.
13.When someone is on their phone and they crash right into you and then act like you fucked 'em up, when ~ACTUALLY~ it was entirely their fault, and they can bump into all the other assholes ruining your life on the PATH DOWN TO HELL.
14.When the sidewalk is really narrow and there's just one asshole in the middle, using up all the space like an egotistical megalomaniac, ensuring that all the decent and civilised human beings CAN’T ACTUALLY GET PAST.
15.When you're just trying to walk to your destination and then some idiot on a bike almost kills you because they're too scared to cycle on the goddamn road EVEN THOUGH THAT'S WHERE ALL THE OTHER THINGS WITH WHEELS ARE.
16.When the pedestrian lights are green but the cyclist who was actually on the road thinks the goddamn law doesn't apply to him and then he yells at you because he almost ran you down. Like that's your fuckin' fault.
17.And when you get a $400 fine for jaywalking even though there were no cars coming and it's dumb and stupid and unfair and YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO GET TO WORK, FOR FUCK'S SAKE CAN YOU LIVE????
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