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87 Thoughts You Have When You Rewatch "Popstars"

Snap pants, bucket hats, and body glitter, oh my!

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If you grew up in Australia in the '90s, you'll probably remember tuning in on Sunday nights to watch the ICONIC JOURNEY that was Popstars. Lucky for us, Popstars: The Making of Bardot is ALL ON YOUTUBE for you to rewatch now.

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Here are some thoughts I had when I rewatched it...

1. Oh, tracking issues. LOL videos.

2. It's interesting that Chantelle Barry is the first one they show as a single like LOL don't they hate her??

3. There are some truly great fashion and beauty choices going on here.

4. Heaps of butterfly clips it's giving me life tbh.

5. Pop, pop, doowop, poppop, pop, doowop, pop pop pop.

6. Iggy's inspiration tbh.

7. Jackie O is described as one of "three leading industry star-makers" which is interesting.

8. They were originally gunning for the winners to be signed to a three-album deal, which, lol.

9. The contestants entered the competition via a form in New Idea.

10. Chris Moss, one of the judges, is like "we don't just want a group for the television show, we're looking for a career act that will record three, four, five albums over the space of ten years, but it's all conditional on there being an act with the talent that is capable of that."

11. The girls seem to have a choice between singing "My Heart Will Go On", "Wannabe", or "Ain't No Sunshine".

12. It is a wonderful reflection of the times tbh.

13. Sally, our first official pop star, is singing "My Heart Will Go On".

14. There are some really iconic moments and outfits in this first part, like this girl singing "Wannabe".

15. Sophie drove nine hours through the night and still nailed her audition because she's a queen.

16. This girl gets a call back and she's really excited about it because her ex-boyfriend didn't like her singing so she's got something to prove.

17. She forgets all the words to "What's Love Got To Do With It" and asks for a lyric sheet. Jackie's like "Sure!" and then Mike is all "nope!" It's pretty brutal.

18. But also, is it that hard to learn a song in a day, really? Especially a song that is totally famous?

19. She didn't get a call back SURPRISEEEEEEE. She storms out crying and ranting about how it's all about image when in reality she messed up the audition pretty bad. It is a shitshow and I love it.

20. After all the girls have been chosen, they fly into Sydney, and Sophie and another girl run into Barry Crocker at the airport and THIS IS THE BEST BIT SO FAR.

21. It's actually very funny because they're like "mmm yes we're the Popstars girls that's correct" while he's talking to them and then after he leaves (and someone tells them who Barry Crocker is) they're like "OMG TOLD YOU HE WAS FAMOUS THAT WAS TOTALLY BARRY CROCKER" and it's like, lol no.

22. The girls dress up for a "night on the town" which is actually them going to Sydney Tower's revolving restaurant. I've been there, it's quite nice.

23. This girl has a daisy in her hair that is giving me life.

24. When did she have time to go and pick a daisy though, really?

25. This might be one of the great unsolved mysteries of our times.

26. Jackie O says "I had the best time in Adelaide" and it makes me happy because I'm from Adelaide.

27. They ask this one girl where her tongue ring went in a way that makes me think they asked her to get rid of it.

28. Christina Aguilera would never have stood for that.

29. It's definitely the year 2000.

30. Sally slays the first day of dance training because she's a damn queen.

31. Another Adelaide girl, Esther, is like "now they've seen me dance I think I'm going home". She's fucked, basically.

32. Belinda mentions that she never usually gets nervous to perform but that she's on edge about these auditions. She's actually doing really well though?

33. "Tiffany continues to impress the judges with her enthusiasm", says the voice over. She's continuing to impress me with her love for cowboy hats, tbh.

34. There's a girl clutching a Bananas in Pyjamas doll, for luck?

35. Tiffany is the first one to make it through the day, and the judges are like "your voice sounds croaky today" and she's like "yeah I drank too much last night hahaha" and it's sort of cringeworthy 'coz the judges are like "mmmhmm".

36. They let this one girl go and the voiceover guy talks about how it's hard to put on a brave face for the judges, but even harder to face your friends. THEY LITERALLY MET THESE OTHER GIRLS A WEEK OR SO AGO I DON'T THINK THIS IS ACCURATE.

37. Friends, competitors, same diff, right?

38. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe all those girls are still BEST FRIENDS to this day.

39. ...I don't think I'm wrong.

40. The judges tell one girl that she's dragging down the rest of the group. It's way harsh.

41. This girl didn't make it through but she did wear snap pants so she was very fashionable for the time tbh.

42. A girl called Cherry has a very vague, non-descript breakdown and can't perform. Jackie tries to help her by putting in a good word with the other judges and the other judges are basically like "IDK IDGAF whatever Jacks".

43. The judges spend a lot of time talking about how they're under a time crunch and it's sort of like "well maybe you should've left yourself more time or prepared a little better"???

44. Cherry, as it turns out, is the one who took out her tongue ring. The hole closed over almost immediately, and now she's going home so basically IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING.

45. Also now seems like a good time to mention that Mel B, aka Scary Spice, had a tongue ring and no one ever made her take it out.

46. The voiceover guy is like "Cherry has eliminated herself" and that's the end of that.

47. The next day they cut the competitors from 16 to 10 and the second girl they let go just walks out silently, side-eyeing the camera, and it. is. PERFECTION.

48. There's like, a day-off montage and there's so much 2000 fashion it looks like a photoshoot from a Dolly magazine. It's all headscarves and cargo pants and bucket hats.

49. Apparently after their beach day they all go home to wait for the judges' decision but that is not conveyed at all in the ~Popstars story~.

50. Sally is the first one to get through. Her dad cries and it's really sweet.

51. LOOK AT TIFFANY'S PHONE THO.

52. Tiffany doesn't get through and she takes the news really well and I'm wondering if that's the reason she gets picked in the end when all this Chantelle stuff happens.

53. They flashback to Sophie's audition when she sang "Happy Birthday Mr. President" a la Marilyn Monroe and I legit remember that being a thing.

54. Also, remember the band Mr. President???

55. Sophie's house is an A+ 2000 aesthetic.

56. One of the girls who doesn't get through is a girl called Louise who is also in a '90s cover band which I DIDN'T KNOW WAS A CAREER PATH BUT IF THAT'S THE CASE THEN BYE GUYS I'VE GOT A NEW DREAM.

57. Louise's '90s look is so on fleek it makes me want to dye my hair red and cut it short.

58. I wonder what Vitamin C is up to these days.

59. Back on Popstars, Louise is so lovely and takes the news really well. She gives Jackie O a hug and everything and it's really nice.

60. I wouldn't be like this I'd probably cry.

61. As soon as they announced the girls (Sally, Sophie, Chantelle, Belinda and Katie) they immediately move in to a big, pretty terrace in Sydney. Sounds like a recipe for drama, in hindsight, AND IT WAS.

62. Chantelle seems like a real diva when they're picking rooms. Sophie legit gives up a single room for her which is something I would never, ever, ever do.

63. OMG they're singing "Poison" for the first time!!!!!

64. This song is legit so iconic tho??

65. OMG. "Michael has received an urgent call to go to the house." IT'S HAPPENING.

66. This scene is so intense it's like, Michael and Chantelle talking in hushed tones (probably not actually but this scene is oddly silent???) and the other four girls are sitting awkwardly in the kitchen.

67. Michael tells the girls that Chantelle wants to leave for "personal and family issues" but like WHAT?!! She stole from Sophie literally EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT WHAT IS THIS FANFICTION VERSION OF THE TRUTH?!

68. I feel robbed.

69. The girls (minus Chantelle) are all steely-eyed at the news that she's leaving.

70. The girls, even Sophie, all give Chantelle a hug, and Sally even cries and leaves the room.

71. It is all exactly as dramatic as I remember it being. I love it.

72. Sophie talks to the camera about how she's "really sad" about Chantelle leaving because she's "the only one who's my age, so we can relate to each other. We swapped clothes. She's such a lovely girl and she's so kind. I'm gonna miss her." Then she starts crying and says that she doesn't know what to say. SOPHIE, SAY THAT SHE STOLE FROM YOU.

73. Chantelle's suitcases don't have wheels on them which is DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE TODAY tbh.

74. The girls have to move to a secure apartment because of ~paparazzi~. The media wants to know why Chantelle left and I don't really understand what's happening because this is so out of whack with my own memories of this momentous moment in pop history???

75. While all the OG girls are out of town for the weekend, Tiffany is home alone and films this super emo vlog on "Tiffanycam" talking about how she sometimes wants to "run away" because she's just now realising how abnormal her life is about to be. She's talking about how she misses the people she loves, which is fair, but it's also like... you already lived in Sydney tho like just call them up maybe??

76. The girls crowd around a bunch of newspapers reading about themselves and it's like "lol @ getting your gossip from a newspaper" and also "that is exactly what I would do if I were famous".

77. Katie reads out a quote from Graeme Turner in a newspaper which is essentially "they're famous for being famous", which I think even for the time was a very generous quote tbh.

78. They keep talking about the pressure to finish the album but every time they cut to one of the girls singing, they're singing "Poison", so it's a bit like "maybe teach them the other songs, then?"

79. Belinda cracks up at her spoken word part in "Poison" and is like "I can't do it, sorry. It's too naff." She's about 10,000% right. The part goes to Sally.

80. They're showing the video for "Poison". It's literally so good.

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81. I don't think I ever noticed how "Say My Name" this video was though???

82. Sophie's sexy peacock outfit was and STILL IS my everything.

83. Literally Sophie is the best one tbh.

84. Aw this version is missing the part where they decide on the name Bardot :'(

85. To this day I can't believe that the clothing store Bardot started out as a line of Bardot merchandise. Like, wut?

86. Wait, it was, right? I remember that being an episode but it's not included in the ~journey~???

87. They should bring back Popstars.

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