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17 Struggles Only Noel Gallagher Understands

Let's be real, there's a little bit of Noel in all of us.

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1. When he had no vision for his own funeral but was asked about it anyway.


"I'm not really bothered 'coz I won't be there. I don't give a shit." (Melody Maker, December 1998)

2. When he had a great car but couldn't drive it because he doesn't have a license.


"I had built for me a customized 1967 Mark II Jaguar convertible at a cost of £110,000, and I haven't got a driving license. It's useless to me." (Blender, August 2008)

3. When he suspected he was thrown out of a cab, but unable to confirm it.

Comedy Central

"Got thrown out of a taxi this morning. At least I think I did. Hard to tell over here. There was shouting and pointing and then the international hand signal for 'get the fuck out of my cab, you western dog!'" (MySpace, March 2009)

4. When he was no longer comfortable with his place in modern life.


"I don't stay up for two or three days on end, fuckin' talking shit about aliens, but I'm becoming more of a belligerent old man, you know what I mean? It's the usual. When you get to a certain age you find that other people's opinions don't really matter anymore, and you get kind of uncomfortable with your place in modern life." (The Clash, October 2008)

5. When the only reason he didn't have a medal was because there weren't any categories that fitted his skill set.


"If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England I would have won a shitload." (Parkinson, Nov 2006)

6. When he had no one left to party with because all his friends went to rehab.


"Didn't go into rehab like all me mates did - fucking lightweights." (Q, December 1999)

7. When he knew that Keane would never be rock stars.


"I feel sorry for Keane. No matter how hard they try they'll always be squares. Even if one of them started injecting heroin into his cock people would go 'yeah but your dad was a vicar, good night'." (Herald Sun, October 2008).

8. When he experienced the worst possible form of psychological torture.


"Being sat beside Liam on a 15-hour flight. It happened just the once, going to Japan or somewhere. It's just horrible." (Melody Maker, December 1999)

9. When Liam sounded like a cool guy but Noel knew that he was actually just a fucking knobhead.


"I read these interviews with him and I don't know who the guy is who's in these interviews, he seems really cool, because the guy I've been in a band with for the last 18 years is a fucking knobhead." (Herald Sun, October 2008)

10. When he was in a band with "the angriest man you'll ever meet".


"[Liam's] rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He's the angriest man you'll ever meet. He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup." (Q, April 2009)

11. When he was forced to reiterate just how talented he really is.


"Look. I was a superhero in the '90s. I said so at the time. McCartney, Weller, Townshend, Richards, my first album's better than all their first albums. Even they'd admit that."

12. When he couldn't predict the future.

Universal Pictures

"I don't have a crystal ball. I didn't see [Tony Blair] was going to turn into a cunt. I was 30, off me head on drugs, and everyone telling me we were the greatest band since who knows. Then the prime minister invites you round for a glass of wine. It all becomes part of the high." (Spin, Sept 2009)

13. When U2 didn't listen.


"Play 'One', shut the fuck up about Africa." (The Daily Telegraph, February 2007)

14. When the story of Oasis wasn't long enough to be an opera.


"I don't think two blokes having the same fucking argument for 16 years over and over is the stuff of opera. Oasis: The Opera would be very short." (Spin, Sept 2009)

15. When he met 50 Cent and it was the worst.


"I fucking despise hip-hop. Loathe it. Eminem is a fucking idiot and I find 50 Cent the most distasteful character I have ever crossed in my life." (The Guardian, June 2005)

16. When he had to explain his creative process.


"I write the first line and the end word, 'supersonic', it's like, 'well, what rhymes with that?' And you start off with 'A' and you go, 'atomic. Bionic.' Then you go...'gin and tonic. Alright, that'll do.' It's no big deal. You just write it down, and people go 'wow! Feeling supersonic... give me gin and tonic. Wow!' Basically, 'coz it rhymes." (Indepth, March 1995)

17. And when he disliked the literary world's elitism.

"People who write and read and review books are fucking putting themselves a tiny little bit above the rest of us who fucking make records and write pathetic little songs for a living … I don't get it. Book sellers, book readers, book writers, book owners – fuck all of them." (GQ, October 2013)