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28 Things All Holiday Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing

"You've ruined my child's Christmas."

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1. "Don't you have any more out the back?"

ABC Family

Nope.

2. "Can you just double-check anyway?"

Lionsgate

Sure. I might be awhile, get comfy.

3. "Can you get one in for me before Christmas?"

FOX

... It's Dec. 23. Do you think I'm Sabrina, from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch?!

4. "I really need [out of stock item], though!"

Bravo Networks

I don't know what to tell you.

5. "I've been waiting a really long time!"

rebloggy.com

And you're the only one.

6. "Can't you just sell me one of the ones that are on hold?"

FX

Sure, because you're worth my getting fired.

7. "You see, I just need this more than whoever has it on hold because...[long-winded, rambling, time-wasting story]."

NBC

8. "Why do I have to wait for someone else to help me? Can't YOU just help me?"

Bravo Networks

No, I can't. Would you ask someone in the beauty department to help you buy a fridge? I'm not trained to help you with your question — it's a different department.

9. "Why don't you have any of [unavailable item]?"

ABC

It's Christmas. You weren't the only one who wanted one. We sold out.

10. After being nudged/shoved with a trolley: "...Now that I've got your attention."

Netflix

You've got my attention?! Sure, let me limp over to the computer and choke back the tears of pain while I serve you.

11. "That line is too long, I'm not waiting. Can't you just put me through now?"

Showtime

Nope.

12. "I've been on hold for five minutes already!"

FX

Oh cool, so you must be feeling pretty chill, then, because the four people in front of you have been waiting for 15 minutes longer than that already.

13. "Is anyone actually working around here?"

Bravo Networks

Yes, I'm working really hard on staying calm and not punching you in the back of the neck, thankyouverymuch.

14. "Hi I need to return this. I don't want it anymore. I don't have a receipt. I'd like it back in cash, thanks."

Columbia Pictures

So what you're saying is "I want to return this despite having no evidence I purchased it from your store, no valid reason for return, and you won't take store credit." This won't be difficult to process, at all.

15. "I need that thing. You know the one? With the thing that does the thing. Come on, you know it..."

FOX

Literally what are you even saying?

16. "If you don't like working here why don't you find another job?"

FOX/Paramount

If you don't think I'm doing my best why don't you shop somewhere else?

17. "Where's your holiday spirit! Smile! It's Christmas!"

HBO

I will END YOU.

18. "Wow it's really busy in here!"

E4

No shit.

19. "I know you guys close at 9pm, but I'm on my way now and I'll be there around 10 past 9. Do you think you could stay open for me? I'll be really quick."

Warner Bros.

20. "I know, I know you're closing but I just need help finding these 15 items on my shopping list. Can you help me?"

MTV

"I don't remember a time when I wasn't in this store anymore but sure I'd love to."

21. "I heard you guys price match — can I get a discount?"

NBC

22. "I'm spending a lot of money here..."

Bravo Networks

That literally has nothing to do with me.

23. "I need to buy each of these items individually. And I need a gift receipt for all of them."

NBC

24. "I know you're on your way out but can you just help me find one thing?"

Bravo Networks

I mean, I've been trying to get to a bathroom for the last four hours but sure I can help you. Don't mind that puddle.

25. In the food court: "I know you're on your lunch break, but can you just tell me if you guys have this game in stock?"

HBO

I have 30 minutes to myself, during which I have to tackle crowds and lines in order to nourish myself so I can deal with you people through to the end of my shift. Literally fuck off. I hate you.

26. "I saw this cheaper at your other store four weeks ago."

youtube.com

You know how sometimes you go to the supermarket, and your favourite cereal is on sale? And then other times, you go to the supermarket, and your favourite cereal is not on sale? Sales finish. The end.

27. "I'm in a rush — can I just leave this pile of unwanted items with you?"

HBO

28. "You've ruined my kid's Christmas."

FOX

I'm working my ass off; it's not my fault you waited until Christmas Eve to buy this year's most coveted gift list item. And even if it was, maybe teach your kid not to be so materialistic kthxbye.