Maybe if I don't say anything they'll forget I'm here and won't force me to go to the beach! You think to yourself.
No such luck. "Doesn't that sound like fun?!" They ask you excitedly.
"Ummm... " You say, bracing yourself for what's about to happen.
"I don't really like the beach!" You blurt out.
Your friends turn to you in bewilderment.
"... What?" They ask, confused.
You try to blow it off like it's no big deal.
But your friends aren't having it.
"You mean, you really don't like the beach?!" They ask, incredulous.
It's too late to go back on it, so you're just like...
"Maybe if you just came along you'd have fun!" your friends plead.
You go to reply, but stop yourself just in time.
I'd rather shove bamboo under my fingernails. You think to yourself.
You choose to break the news in a gentler fashion.
You realise you're going to need to explain yourself.
"It's hot, okay?" You begin cautiously. "It's like, really hot, and it's always windy, so you get sand everywhere, and then you wash it off in the ocean but then it just sticks to you even more and it's hot and it's shit and I HATE IT!" You exclaim.
Your friends are unsure how to react.
But it doesn't matter. The truth is out there.
Finally, you begin to feel good about coming clean as a beach-hating Aussie.