1. Classic and familiar monsters are the best monsters.
2. "Peen head" is the insult we all need to be using.
3. You will never be as cool as Rudy.
4. Parents are downright clueless.
5. The Gill-man likes Twinkies.
6. The Wolfman has "nards."
7. Frankenstein's Monster doesn't put up with shit.
8. He has feelings too.
9. Van Helsing likes giving thumbs up.
10. Never mess with Horace.
11. Dracula does not play around.
12. The Wolf Man uses pay phones.
13. Frankenstein's Monster is a creep.
14. When in doubt, use a bow and arrow.
15. The Wolf Man isn't any ordinary man.
16. And "man" is the real monster.
17. The Army won't show up until after you save the world.
18. Friendships can form in unlikely places.
19. And finally, the Monster Squad gets the job done.
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