1. People have this weird desire to travel to Ireland before they die.
Minnowburn, National Trust Site — Belfast, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
2. What could you possibly see there that'd be worth the trip?
Baltimore, West Cork, Ireland
3. Nothing, that's what.
Ballyduff, Waterford, Ireland
4. Seriously, turn back now.
Sandymount Strand — Dublin, Ireland
5. Because its sunrises are truly ugly.
Sandycove — Dublin, Ireland
6. And the sunsets will make you want your money back.
Ringsend, Dublin, Ireland
7. The houses are cramped together.
Boat House on Rye River — Maynooth, Kildare, Ireland
8. The mountains are hideous.
Wicklow Mountains — Brockagh, Wicklow, Ireland
9. Every single one.
Windgates — Greystones, Wicklow, Ireland
10. Their government buildings are blah.
The Four Courts — Dublin, Ireland
11. The churches are practically shacks.
Christ Church Cathedral — Dublin, Ireland
12. And the castles? Microscopic.
Belfast Castle — Belfast, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
13. There are no unique landmarks. Rip-off.
The Giant's Causeway — Antrim, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
14. In fact, it's the land of "No Mystical Beauty."
The Dark Hedges — Antrim, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
15. Seriously, there are no photo-op moments whatsoever.
Slea Head — Dingle, Ireland
16. Its rivers are murky and polluted with trash.
The Liffey River — Ringsend, Dublin, Ireland
17. And don't even get me started on its gardens.
The Irish National Botanic Gardens — Glasnevin, Dublin, Ireland
18. The autumns are offensive to the human eye.
Wallace Park — Lisburn, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
19. And the winters are the exact opposite of what a "wonderland" would be.
Killarney Park — Killarney, Ireland
20. Its wildlife parks only have hideous-looking animals.
Kleiner Panda at Fota Wildlife Park — Passage West, Cork, Ireland
21. Its fields are ridden with decay.
Giant's Ring — Drumbeg, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
22. And its grass is anything but "luscious green."
Neolithic Mounds at Knowth — Slane, Meath, Ireland
23. The caves suck.
Marble Arch Caves — Femanagh, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
24. Like, for real.
Carrick-a-Rede — Ballintoy, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
25. And those islands? Snoresville.
Skellig Michael — Kerry, Ireland
26. Ugh, so boring.
The Cliffs of Moher — Liscannor, Clare, Ireland
27. You're never going to want to go out for a stroll.
Carlingford, Strandpromenade — Carlingford, Louth, Ireland
28. Or venture across a bridge.
Ha'penny Bridge — Dublin, Ireland
29. "Beautiful scenery" is non-existent.
Youghal Bridge — Youghal, Cork, Ireland
30. Nothing to see here.
Liffey River, after heavy rainfall — Dublin, Ireland
31. Nope. Nothing at all.
Inishowen Lighthouse — Greencastle, Donegal, Ireland
32. What could possess someone to travel to this wasteland?
Bloody Bridge in the Mourne Mountains — Down, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
33. OMG, so disgusting.
Lurgan Park — Craigavon, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
34. Barf-o-rama.
Tollymore Forest Park — Newcastle, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
35. Abort, abort.
Navan Fort — Armagh, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom
36. You've been warned.
Northern Lights at Malin Head — Ardmalin, Donegal, Ireland