1. In the past year, you looked like this…
2. You read "Fifty Shades of Grey" in public.
3. Who are you kidding, you ate it up.
4. Then you held hands (but only once).
5. Suddenly you’re up at night for new reasons.
6. There is a new ruler in your life.
7. And they've got the keys to the kingdom.
8. But seriously, the party is over.
9. Well, it’s a new kind of party.
10. And the party has a running commentary.
11. And it's not good.
12. Wait, what's happening? We were going to be cool parents!
13. Now your life is just "kid stuff."
14. So. Much. Stuff.
15. Did we mention stuff?
16. Seriously this kid has baggage.
17. You’ve actually considered getting a bigger place for your kid's crap.
18. Your life is one big blur of babyfood and laundry.
19. The only ass you're checking out is your baby’s.
20. Now you look like this. Everyday. Actually, that’s a good day.
21 - 50. Your life is nothing like Fifty Shades of Grey. And you don’t mind one bit.
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