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Sonam Kapoor Keeps Getting Sent A Flood Of Gifts And I Am Kinda Sorta Mad

♪ Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada ♪

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I love Sonam Kapoor. I love everything about her. I love her 'tude, I love her resonating lack of fucks, I love her relentless commitment to style.

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STR / Stringer / Getty Images

Since following her on Snapchat, it has come to my attention that I'm FAR from the only person on earth who loves Sonam Kapoor.

On the contrary, it turns out that one of the perks of being an A-list celebrity is that brands and companies will spend their entire marketing budgets (and more) to get a gift to you that you'll post on social media. Because a fuckton of people, like me, love Sonam Kapoor.

Here's a brief list of just a FEW gifts that Sonam Kapoor has received for being all-round baller Sonam Kapoor.

1. A hoverboard.

The ₹10 bill I found in my pocket last night was the only gift I have received in 2016.
Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

The ₹10 bill I found in my pocket last night was the only gift I have received in 2016.

2. Disney PJs and goodies.

3. A personalised Burberry poncho.

Instagram

4. Edgy Manish Arora outfits.

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

5. This bomb Louis Vuitton backpack.

6. Herself in her Cannes outfit ON A DAMN BIRTHDAY CAKE.

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

7. CANDY-WRAPPED PJs.

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

8. Unsolicited cupcakes and macaroons.

What's the official procedure to deserve this?

9. CARTONS OF SNICKERS AND PEPPY.

Instagram
Instagram

Which legally binding documents of friendship do I sign to receive similar shipments?

10. Just ALL sorts of accessories, all the damn time.

Is there a support group I can join to deal with these feelings of simultaneous adulation and resentment towards Sonam?

11. Dresses. Dresses all day every day.

Instagram
Instagram

Sonam would look lovely in those dresses but I ~really~ think I would also look lovely in those dresses.

12. A constant unstoppable flood of luxury handbags.

Instagram
Instagram

13. A fucking TORRENT of clutches.

14. I HATE YOU, SONAM KAPOOR.

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

15. AND I WOULD ALSO LIKE VERY MUCH TO LEAD YOUR LIFE.

Instagram
Instagram

16. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

17. I haven't received as many presents on all my birthdays combined as Sonam probably got this week.

Instagram
Instagram

18. I swear I'm OK. I'm not mad. I mean, good for Sonam. Good for her.

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

19. I LIED. I AM LIVID.

20. SEETHING.

21. Counting to 10 and taking deep breaths.

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

22. *Puts on ₹120 sunglasses to hide tears*

Sonam Kapoor / Via Instagram

Sonam, please consider this official request to swap lives permanently. Thank you.