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20 Sex Tips For Orgies That Are Actually Amazing

You're welcum.

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We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they wish they'd known before having an orgy. Here are the helpful results.

2. Shit happens, literally, so if there's a chance you're going to have anal sex, make sure you douche properly beforehand.


"This goes double if you're going to be the only male bottom and everyone else is a top, but also for women who may have anal."


3. Don't do something you're not comfortable with. If you don't want to be double-penetrated or jerked off or kissed, say so.

4. Stimulation overload can totally occur, and it's not always fun, so don't be hesitant to take a break if you need one.

Recorded Picture Company

"I went to a swinger’s party as a single lady earlier this year this and learned this."


5. Understand that partaking in an orgy doesn't always mean you'll be having sex.

Focus Features, 20th Century Fox

"Sometimes everyone has sex, and sometimes you only make out or sit in a corner while talking about cats. As long as everyone has a good and consensual time, it's 'successful.'"


7. Don't let your defined sexuality get in the way.

20th Century Fox

"This is a whole new experience for a lot of people, so if there's someone there who's not your normally-preferred gender, don't be afraid to try something new. When there's more than three people, inhibitions already don't matter."


9. You'll know pretty immediately if the orgy is a right fit for you, so trust your gut.


"Most people who participate in an orgy are extremely open-minded. You'll either decide immediately that it's not for you, or you'll just go with the flow and have a lot of uncomfortable laughs along the way. Both are totally fine."


10. Ask yourself if you're going to approve of the orgy in a week, a month, or even years down the line.

Imagine Entertainment

"Also ask if it may jeopardize relationships you have with some people. Being honest about this becomes a deal-breaker sometimes."


11. If you're feeling left out, make sure you communicate that. After all, you're in charge of your own experience at an orgy.


"I was part of a polyamorous relationship with four other core people, and occasionally others, so just remember that communication is key."


15. Recognize that consent is just as important and legitimate, no matter how many people are present.

Sony Pictures Classics

"The pressure to do something you aren’t into or don’t want to do can feel multiplied because of not wanting to ruin ~the vibe~, but that feeling works both ways."


16. With that said, you should always do consent check-ins before you start.

Fox Searchlight Pictures, Wild Bunch

"Ask what everyone expects and is comfortable with, and be specific!"


17. People are awkward and bodies are weird, so it's 100% OK to laugh during the experience.

18. Being in an orgy means you might not be attracted to everyone, but try not to let that ruin the whole experience for you.

Messidor Films

"I wish I knew I wasn't going to be attracted to everyone. Made for an awkward me staying in the corner of the room, praying it would be over soon."


19. Make sure you (and the other people involved) actually want to have group sex.


"Orgies can be awkward and weird, so you want to make sure you can have fun with everything. You don't want to do it because of peer pressure or pressure from a significant other."


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Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.