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26 Gross, Bizarre, And Weird Things Couples Actually Do In Private

Oh... my god.

We asked the couples of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the grossest things they secretly do. Here are the funny, weird, and wild results.

1. "My husband and I weigh ourselves before and after we poop to compare who had the biggest poop and claim victory. I don’t know what victory does, but we just walk around feeling really good about our big turds."

Harpo Productions

2. "My boyfriend and I love Sour Patch Kids, but I’m a real wuss when it comes to the sour part. He puts the candy in his mouth and sucks off all the sour stuff, and then I will eat the sweet part."

Comedy Central

3. "My boyfriend is super hairy, and every month or so he gets me to take close-up pictures of his butthole to see how hairy it is."

Disney Channel

4. "Sometimes I’ll show my fiancé the massive amount of blood that pools in the toilet during my period."

The CW

5. "I LOVE popping my boyfriend's pimples, but he hardly gets them anywhere other than his butt. We’ve gotten to the point where he just pulls down his pants and lets me go to town."

Warner Bros. Pictures

6. "My husband has picked something out of my teeth and eaten it before."

Disney Channel

7. "During and after my pregnancy, my boyfriend helped me poop when I was constipated. He also put hemorrhoid cream on my anus and checked to see if my hemorrhoids were getting better."

ABC

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8. "I have veneers on my teeth, so I’m not supposed to take bites out of whole apples. Sometimes if we're out and don't have a knife, my husband will take a bite, spit it out in his hand, and give it to me so I can have some."

9. "I pee in every shower I’m ever in, so if we’re sharing a shower, that means he's getting peed on too."

Fox

10. "We both share one razor for our faces... and everywhere else on our bodies."

BBC America

11. "He always cracks my toes for me, religiously, every day, no matter what kind of shoes they’ve been cooped up in or what kind of blisters I’ve gathered."

NBC

12. "When my boyfriend and I have to burp, we run to the other person's face and belch as loudly as we can, like it's a contest."

Oxygen

13. "We do this thing called 'fart bombing.' If you fart, you have to grab a handful of air and throw it in the other person's face. It’s disgusting, and it started as a joke, but now it’s war."

14. "We always send each other pictures of our poop. We don't have a fetish. It's just sort of become an inside joke."

Fox

15. "If one of us sees that the other has a bat in the cave, my boyfriend and I will pick each other’s noses. He started it."

16. "Sometimes I'll take a sip of a drink and go to kiss my boyfriend and slowly spit the drink into his mouth. It only works from my mouth to his because when he tries it I can’t help but laugh and spill it on myself."

Bravo

17. "Whenever we’re cuddling and my husband is shirtless, I’ll stroke his armpit hair and ask him if he wants me to braid it."

UPN

"He always says no, but for some reason I feel compelled to ask."

victoriaf4f2309550

18. "We share the same toothbrush."

19. "My boyfriend and I have a lake house, and the area has a lot of ticks, so every night we check each other's buttholes for ticks."

BBC One

20. "When I’m tired of my gum, he’ll hold out his hand for me to spit my gum into and will pop it in his mouth and chew it for a bit. We have fun."

Netflix

21. "I obsessively pop my boyfriend's pimples. It doesn’t even matter if we’re in public. If I see one, I just can’t help but pop it immediately."

The CW

22. "I have been known to pick crumbs out of my partner's beard and eat them."

23. "I often pick the lint out of my boyfriend's belly button."

Fox

24. "If my boyfriend gets sunburn and his skin starts to peel, I'll sit on the couch and peel his flaky skin off for him while he watches TV."

Comedy Central

25. "My boyfriend has huge pores on his nose, and they fill up with all sorts of grime. If I win a bet or something, my prize is 'five minutes of uninterrupted pore squeezing.'"

LucasFilm

"If I don't win anything in a while, I will straight up offer him money or a blowjob to let me squeeze his pores. I need help."

dagmarmariab

26. And "I’m not sure if anyone else knows this, but you can pull up on the skin and blow up an uncircumcised penis like a balloon. Have we done that on multiple occasions? Yes. Does it still make us laugh every time? Yes again."

HBO

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