We asked the couples of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the grossest things they do in private. Here are the wild results.
1."My boyfriend and I like to play a game where one of us burps, and then the other person smells it and tries to guess what they ate last."
2."I love popping my boyfriend's pimples, but he hardly gets them anywhere other than his butt. We’ve gotten to the point where he just pulls down his pants and lets me go to town."
3."My husband will take a drink of water, and I'll suck the drops off his mustache and say, 'Mmm, dew drops.' It makes us laugh so much every time."
4."My boyfriend and I always pee at the same time, as in... I sit on the toilet and leave a space between my legs and he aims through them."
5."I always bite my boyfriend's nails for him."
6."We always send each other pictures of our poop. We don't have a fetish. It's just sort of become an inside joke."
7."Sometimes we like to sniff each other's assholes, just because."
8."My boyfriend is super hairy, and every month or so he gets me to take close-up pictures of his butthole to see how hairy it is."
9."My husband and I weigh ourselves before and after we poop to compare who had the biggest poop and claim victory."
10."Sometimes I’ll show my fiancé the massive amount of blood that pools in the toilet during my period."
11."My husband has picked something out of my teeth and eaten it before."
12."I pee in every shower I’m ever in, so if we’re sharing a shower, that means he's getting peed on too."
13."He always cracks my toes for me, religiously, every day, no matter what kind of shoes they’ve been cooped up in or what kind of blisters I’ve gathered."
14."When my boyfriend and I have to burp, we run to the other person's face and belch as loudly as we can, like it's a contest."
15."We do this thing called 'fart bombing.' If you fart, you have to grab a handful of air and throw it in the other person's face. It’s disgusting, and it started as a joke, but now it’s war."
16."If one of us sees that the other has a bat in the cave, my boyfriend and I will pick each other’s noses. He started it."
17."Sometimes I'll take a sip of a drink and go to kiss my boyfriend and slowly spit the drink into his mouth. It only works from my mouth to his because when he tries it I can’t help but laugh and spill it on myself."
18."My husband and I share the same toothbrush."
19."My boyfriend and I have a lake house, and the area has a lot of ticks, so every night we check each other's buttholes for ticks."
20."When I’m tired of my gum, my boyfriend will have me spit it into his hand, and then he'll chew on it for a bit. We have fun."
21."If my boyfriend gets sunburn and his skin starts to peel, I'll sit on the couch and peel his flaky skin off for him while he watches TV."
22."My boyfriend has huge pores on his nose, and they fill up with all sorts of grime. If I win a bet or something, my prize is 'five minutes of uninterrupted pore squeezing.'"
23.And "I’m not sure if anyone else knows this, but you can pull up on the skin and blow up an uncircumcised penis like a balloon. Have we done that on multiple occasions? Yes. Does it still make us laugh every time? Yes again."