Here's What 17 Famous Disney Channel Characters Are Up To Today

Prepare to have your jaw dropped.

1. Ronnie from Lizzie McGuire:

Disney Channel, Joe Rokicki / Facebook / Via Facebook: joe.rokicki.7

What you remember him as: Lizzie's first boyfriend, aka the paperboy who ultimately broke up with her to date a random girl from his own school.

What he's up to now: Ronnie has a pet lizard and carries it around on his shoulder wherever he goes. He currently works at a gas station, and his biggest regret in life is breaking Lizzie's heart. He can choke.

2. Melina Bianco from Lizzie McGuire:

Walt Disney Pictures, carlyfries18 / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember her as: Matt McGuire's friend and the ultimate troublemaker.

What she's up to now: Melina graduated at the top of her class in high school, but she decided not to attend college. In her late teens, she created her own successful pyramid scheme, which Kate Sanders fell for. Melina has been in jail since a simple bank robbery gone wrong two years ago. She hasn't spoken to Matt in over a decade.

3. Marnie Piper from Halloweentown:

Disney Channel, officialkjb / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember her as: A teenager who found out she was a witch. Got a complete facelift between high school and college, but we don't talk about that.

What she's up to now: Marnie permanently moved to Halloweentown after college. Her next-door neighbor is her grandmother Aggie Cromwell. They return to the mortal world every Sunday night for family dinners with Sophie, Dylan, and Gwen. Marnie recently ran for mayor of Halloweentown and won by a landslide. She also married Kalabar's son, Kal.

4. Ren Stevens from Even Stevens:

Disney Channel, thechristycarlsonromano / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember her as: Overachiever, teacher's pet, most likely to succeed, middle sibling to Louis and Donnie, bad pole vaulter.

What she's up to now: Ren was valedictorian of her graduating class (Larry Beale came in second). She went to Stanford and eventually followed in her mother's footsteps to became a state senator. Last year she returned to Sacramento to give the commencement address at Lawrence Junior High, per Principal Wexler's dying wish. She never married but is thinking about adopting a child.

5. Alan Twitty from Even Stevens:

Disney Channel, instagram.com

What you remember him as: Louis's best friend, a regulation hottie, and an athlete-musician.

What he's up to now: Twitty and Louis had a bunch of creative differences with their band, the Twitty-Stevens Connection, which led to its breakup. Even so, their friendship remained strong...until Twitty came out as bisexual and revealed that he secretly hooked up with both of Louis's siblings, Ren and Donnie. Twitty now tours with his new band and is the opening act for JoJo Siwa.

6. Bernard "Beans" Aranguren from Even Stevens:

Disney Channel, instagram.com

What you remember him as: The annoying neighborhood kid who always bothered Louis. Also, he loved bacon.

What he's up to now: Beans overcame a lot of personal hardships throughout his childhood, and he grew up to become a New York Times bestselling author. His autobiography and debut novel, Beans: A Life Worth Eating, was even handpicked by Oprah for her book club. He married a finalist on America's Next Top Model, and they are genuinely in love. They have two children, Pinto and Fava. I wish them the best.

7. Maddie Fitzpatrick from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody:

Disney Channel, ashleytisdale / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember her as: Zack's ultimate crush and your favorite candy store clerk at the Tipton Hotel.

What she's up to now: Maddie still works at the Tipton, only now as the hotel manager (she replaced Mr. Moseby after he was promoted). She's still close with London Tipton and was even the maid of honor in London's first three weddings. Maddie has been dating someone named Kyle for the last five years, and she plans on proposing Christmas morning. She still keeps in contact with Zack and Cody.

8. Kayla West from The Famous Jett Jackson:

Disney Channel, me

What you remember her as: One of Jett Jackson's best friends and potential love interests, lived on a farm, and once painted a fence to win an art competition.

What she's up to now: Kayla left her farm life in North Carolina to become a famous artist. Her work has been featured in several museums around the world. After living in New York for 10 years, she reunited with Jett Jackson, who was doing a play on Broadway. His celeb lifestyle was too much for her because she's a very private person (which explains why there are no recent pictures of her), so the relationship didn't last. Above is a portrait of what I think Kayla looks like today.

9. Andy "Brink" Brinker from Brink!:

Disney Channel, angelavondetten / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember him as: Your childhood crush who somehow convinced you that Rollerblading was cool. He also threw a milkshake in Val's face.

What he's up to now: Shortly after creaming Val in the downhill competition, Brink rejoined the Soul Skaters and was signed to a professional label. He decided not to go to college because his family was still struggling financially, and instead skated full-time. He won three X Games medals and is now a Bernie bro.

10. Phil Diffy from Phil of the Future:

Disney Channel, ravivullman / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember him as: A regular teenager...but from the future. His family accidentally traveled to the year 2004.

What he's up to now: Phil and his family went back to the year 2121 as if nothing had ever happened. He visited Keely every year until finally accepting that their relationship would never work out romantically. Keely ultimately married someone else, and they had several children and grandchildren. Unknowingly, Phil recently started dating one of Keely's granddaughters.

11. Cody Griffin from The Thirteenth Year:

Disney Channel, chez_starbuck / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember him as: An all-star middle school swimmer who turned out to be half merman.

What he's up to now: Cody lived with his mom in the ocean until she got caught in a fishing net and died. He moved back in with his adoptive parents and continued to swim professionally, but he had to quit because the water reminded him too much of his mom. He's now a vocal Donald Trump supporter. The movie Aquaman was loosely based on his life.

12. Movie Mason from The Phantom of the Megaplex:

Disney Channel

What you remember him as: The old guy who loved movies and pretended to work at the theater.

What he's up to now: Movie Mason is 103 years old and still "works" at the movie theater. He secretly lives in the theater's basement, surrounded by all the movie posters and props that he collected throughout the years (including the Juvenile Academy Award he won in 1938 but never told anyone about).

13. Lexy Gold from Get a Clue:

Disney Channel, lindsaylohan / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember her as: Rich and stylish. Ran the advice column for her school newspaper. Miranda Priestly who?!

What she's up to now: Lexy graduated at the top of her class, went to Harvard, and was editor of the Crimson. She dated one of the Winklevoss twins and later got a job at the New Yorker, where she was nominated for two Pulitzer Prizes. She left her job a few years ago to create and write a popular YA series about a teenage girl who juggles schoolwork and solving crimes, inspired by her early detective days.

14. Eddie Ogden from Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off:

Disney Channel, Taylor Ball / Facebook / Via Facebook: TaylorballStillstanding

What you remember him as: An all-star baseball player who also loved to cook. Somehow won a cooking competition by topping his chicken with a chocolate sauce.

What he's up to now: Bobby Flay became Eddie's personal mentor after he competed in the cooking competition. Eddie proudly traded in his baseball mitt for an oven mitt to become a full-time chef at one of Bobby's restaurants in New York. Eddie currently lives in a luxury apartment building in Midtown with his boyfriend, who plays for the Yankees.

15. Kyle Johnson from The Luck of the Irish:

Disney Channel, theryanmerriman / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember him as: Best basketball player his school ever had. Also happened to be a leprechaun. Oh, and his dad was from Cleveland.

What he's up to now: Kyle played college basketball for a few years but moved back home after his grandfather died at the age of 215. He took over for him at the potato chip factory and is now the exclusive seller at all college and NBA stadiums. He's a multimillionaire.

16. Zenon Kar from the Zenon series:

Disney Channel, kirstenstorms / Instagram / Via instagram.com

What you remember her as: Lived on a spaceship in the year 2049, could somehow speak to aliens, literally saved the moon/universe multiple times, and always said the words "zetus lapetus."

What she's up to now: Zenon still lives in space with her "friend" (lover) Nebula. She worked at NASA for several years until being appointed director of the United States Space Force. She's still close with Proto Zoa.

17. And Mrs. Darbus from the High School Musical series:

Disney Channel, me, lol

What you remember her as: East High's homeroom and drama teacher, huge stickler for no phones during class, always told it like it was.

What she's up to now: She's dead.