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17 Big-Dick Stories That'll Make Your Jaw Drop For Several Reasons

"It was so big that when he thrust into my mouth I threw up everywhere."

Penises come in all shapes and sizes, so we asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their wildest experiences (both sexual and not) with really big penises. Here are the steamy, awkward, and jaw-dropping results.

1. This wild ride:

"I was on Tinder a few years back and met a guy to hook up with. It had been four years since I had any kind of sex, and I was itching to break my dry spell. Long story short, this guy had a nine-inch penis and was into deep-throating. At one point, he thrust so hard that I threw up everywhere. I was so embarrassed, and then the dog started eating it???"

β€”sassyshelby

Tiffany Pollard talking about big penises to the camera in "I Love New York"
Vh1

2. This bloody bottom:

"I'm gay and 99% a top. For some reason, I reallllly wanted to bottom one day, so I texted my friend with benefits (we had only ever blown each other before this) and invited him over. He had at least a nine-inch and thick dick. He shoved it in me, and it tore my ass a little. I'd never screamed and jumped up so fast in my life. It took a year to completely heal. Ouch!"

β€”bent46

3. This long dangler:

"I met a hot guy at a bar and decided to go back to his hotel. I could tell in the bar he had a big dick from the way he was filling out his pants. I'm mostly a top, but sometimes it feels good to get fucked by a huge cock. He took his pants off, and there were at least four inches of dick hanging out from the bottom of his boxers. I laughed a little and said, 'What are you going to do with that?' He responded, 'I'm going to fuck you.' We tried. He got the head in, which was the size of an apple, and then we had to stop. His whole penis was at least a foot long. It was fun to play with and suck on, but I couldn't get much further than that."

β€”cobolting

The old lady from the Life Alert commercials lying on the floor, lol
Life Alert

4. This case of lockjaw:

"One time I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. He's quite big and girthy (he's 6'7", for reference), so my jaw was hurting. I occasionally get lockjaw, but for some reason I kept going. That was a big mistake. It got to the point where I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to get his dick out, so I had to pry my mouth open with my fingers. Now any time I give him oral, I make sure to use my tongue while giving my jaw a rest."

β€”shelbeed

5. This punctured piercing:

"I'm pretty well-endowed. I've had a few guys throw up on me while trying to give me head, and more than a handful have refused sex after seeing me fully erect. However, my worst experience happened because of the length and my Prince Albert piercing. Somehow, as I was getting undressed, my penis swung to the side and my piercing hooked on a belt loop. I didn't notice and gave my pants a yank. I dropped to my knees and screamed like a baby."

β€”karlb40

Sandra Oh's character yelling "Somebody sedate me!" in "Grey's Anatomy"
ABC

6. This baseball bat:

"My ex's dick was like a baseball bat in length, girth, and shape. It was AT LEAST 10 inches. It had a larger head than shaft, so it felt amaaaazing when he took his time and pulled all the way out and back in. But, heaven help me, when he got to pounding away, I could feel my cervix wincing."

β€”ladydanger2020

7. This braces mishap:

"The first guy I ever gave a blowjob to was huge, both in length and in girth. I had braces at the time and was hesitant, but he assured me it would be OK. We took it slowly, but he ended up with two bloody lines down his penis where some inside wires were protruding. To this day, I still wonder if he has the scars."

β€”d4b4a5

A scene from "AHS: Hotel" where Lady Gaga and Cheyenne Jackson lie naked, covered in blood
FX

8. This revolutionary experience:

"I was watching anime with a friend in his dorm. One thing led to another, and his pants came off. His penis was HUGE. I remember gaping at it for a good 30 seconds before remembering that I was supposed to be doing something with it. After nearly vomiting twice from trying to deep-throat it, and after getting my face fucked until I could barely breathe, he finally came. When he offered to return the favor, I turned him down and went back to my room. My jaw and throat hurt for the next week after that, and it hurt to swallow anything for days. That was my first and last experience with a dick...and how I discovered I'm a lesbian."

β€”hkaydef

9. This cautionary tale:

"I was seeing a guy whose penis was nine inches long. He was really into having fast and hard sex. Things got a little too intense one time, and he literally bruised my cervix. It hurt to sit or pee or bend over for almost two weeks!"

β€”jamielynng46

Miss Jay being shocked on "America's Next Top Model"
The CW

10. This sweet remembrance:

"I used to have a friends with benefits situation with a guy whose dick was β€” I shit you not β€” like a fucking can of Monster energy drink. I'm talking so long and girthy. The first time I saw it, I honest-to-god gasped out loud. To this day, the best sex I've ever had was with him. Sex with him had me feeling so full, and it rode that fine and sweet line between pleasure and pain. Now I shed a tear for that glorious dick that I lost when he moved across the country."

β€”vanessam4

11. This nurse's shock:

"One time, I had to catheterize a man who was so well-endowed that his flaccid penis was barely long enough for the catheter to reach his bladder. It's a 12-inch catheter, and he was soft..."

β€”amandaglasscocks

Steve Harvey looking shocked on "Family Feud"
UPN

12. This lost tampon:

"I was really horny, so I drove 45 minutes to my ex's house to have sex. The next morning, I realized I never took out my tampon. His penis was so big that it pushed the tampon up too far, and I couldn't get it out. After 30 minutes, I gave up and called the guy, asking for a favor. I went to his office, locked the door, pulled out some medical gloves and a towel, and I spread my legs on his desk so he could pull out the tampon. He fished around for 15 minutes and finally got it out."

β€”lauront

13. This bathroom bro:

"I was grabbing drinks with my best mate. We had to use the restroom around the same time, and we were right next to each other at the urinals. Long story short, it was impossible to not see his penis when he pulled it out. It was big enough that he had to use two hands to pee. I wasn't even jealous at that point...just afraid lol."

β€”mcgoddamn

Schmidt in "New Girl" trying to guess the size of someone's penis with his hands
Fox

14. This lost bet:

"I went on a few dates with a guy in college. We knew that neither of us liked to bottom, so I proposed a bet of whoever had the bigger penis got to top. I was obviously pretty cocky and sure that I would win. I was speechless when he pulled out a throbbing Pringles can. Never one to back out of a bet, I powered through. I was late to class the next day because it took me an extra long time to walk up the stairs."

β€”matthewh4

15. This cocky keyboard:

"A few years back, one guy told me his dick was 'the size of a keyboard.' When we got to his bedroom and he pulled it out, my first thought was, 'Oh my god...It really is the size of a child's toy keyboard.' I was ready to take on the challenge but quickly realized it was too big for me. He could barely get the tip in because it hurt too much. One time, it slipped out and in between my thighs, so I just squeezed my thighs super tight together and let him fuck that, thinking it was my vagina. There was no way his dick was fitting in me."

Tiffany Haddish deep-throating a banana in "Girls' Trip"
Universal Pictures

16. This Subway sandwich:

"I was a senior in high school, and the popular, hot guy on my bus asked me over to his house. As soon as his pants came off, my eyes widened. I asked him how big he was...12 inches. I was all in, though! I gave him a few hours of mind-blowing sex. After it was over, I experienced my first walk of shame through my ENTIRE neighborhood and could literally barely walk. I had to pretend I started my period early because of it, and I bled for almost three days. Totally worth it, though."

β€”kenziethemom

17. And this leftover lunch surprise:

"I met up with a guy from Grindr, and he had the biggest penis I'd ever seen. I had to take his penis out of my ass because it hurt so badly, and he said, 'Damn, you made a mess.' I saw what looked like a gallon of beef stew, and the smell soon followed. He started puking all down my back, and it ran into my hair, eyes, his bed, and the floor. His sister knocked on the door to see what was going on, and he started freaking out. He ran into the bathroom while I, still covered in poop and puke, tried to put my clothes on. It was impossible to leave with any dignity."

β€”DutchMN

Lito and Hernando hooking up in the bathroom in "Sense8"
Netflix

Want to tell us about your own big-dick experience? Sound off in the comments below!

Note: Submissions have been edited for ~length~ and clarity.