1. Coach Comet (from Rudolph)
I think we ALL had a gym teacher like this guy (I hated that gym teacher).
2. Snoopy (from a Charlie Brown Christmas
Start the video at !:59 and just listen to that heart-shattering laugh of Snoopy’s. If Charlie Brown wasn’t so nice this special would have ended with a trip to the vet.
3. The Grinch
I had to add the Grinch, even though he’s a douche in that wonderful heart-warming way that makes you like him more. Am I the only one that liked him BETTER before he turned into the creepy Uncle of Whoville?
4. The kid from The Santa Clause
The entire movie consists of this kid bitching about EVERYTHiNG. I feel sorry for the stepdad, you just know he’s going to develop a drinking problem listening to that whiny brat all the time.
5. Burgermeister Meisterburger (Santa Clause Is Coming to Town)
It’s Hitler right? I mean it’s a children’s movie and the bad guy is a cartoon representation of Hitler… classy!
6. Clarence (the angel from It’s A Wonderful Life)
Face it, we ALL hate Mr. Potter, the guy is just ridiculously evil, but what about the angel? He was just dicking with George Bailey the whole time. Like in the beginning, instead of convincing him not to jump off the bridge in the first place he goes tumbling off into the icy water himself FORCING George to jump off the bridge to save him (he didn’t have to worry about hypothermia he was already dead) and then when George basically says he wishes he could take everything back, instead of using his incredible powers of universe manipulation to make Mr. Potter get eaten by a German Shepherd or something he makes George a stranger in his own town. At the end of the movie things HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN BETTER. He just convinces George Bailey not to kill himself while he marches his family into the poor house (but notice Clarence got what he wanted out of it, manipulative little bastard)
7. Ralphie from A Christmas Story
He wanted a Christmas present that nobody thought he should have so he designed an elaborate mission of manipulation to get what he wanted. Not to mention the fact that when he got in trouble for cussing he ratted his best friend out with him, for no reason other than he didn’t want to suffer alone. He ditched his brother when he needed help. He complained about every other Christmas present he got and he shot his eye out anyway.
8. Tiny Tim
Am I the only one that thinks ole Tim milks his disability a little bit too much? He knows he’s adorable and that everybody feels sorry for him and he makes sure he’s the center of attention at all times. He lives in a house with like ten other kids, but you’d never know it because it’s Tiny Tim always making toasts and climbing up in people’s laps. If he didn’t have that cane you know people would be like “get off of me you weird little kid!”. Frankly, he’s probably faking it a little too. He could walk if he wanted to, please…
9. Santa (from Rudolph)
The red suit makes a lot of sense for this version of Santa, because he’s basically the stone cold leader of a bigoted communist sweat camp.
10. King Herod
Let’s see, he issues a decree to kill every baby boy in the land (pretty douchy). Then when Jesus grows up he has him nailed to a cross. Besides he just looks like a douche, look at him (you just know if he were alive today he’d have a fake tan and a blowout hairdo).
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- Mick Jagger is a new dad at age 73 and people have some things to say 👀
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