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    42 Lancashire Sentences That Will Confuse The Fuck Out Of Everyone Else

    "Fancy a sneck lifter?" – I'm about to give you an alcoholic drink so strong it could strip paint.

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    1. "You won't feel th'benefit." – I'm going to make you take your coat off even though I can see you don't want to stay.

    2. "I'm goin' out round town." – I'll be at one of the two pubs I always go to.

    3. "What's up, owt or nowt?" – I really hope there's some gossip.

    4. "Where's ti bin?" – Where have you been?

    5. "Fancy a sneck lifter?" – I'm about to give you an alcoholic drink so strong that it could strip paint.

    6. "I saw him on Broadway" – I saw him on Accrington high street.

    7. "Shut yer pie-hole." – Stop talking.

    8. "Shut yer cake-hole." – No, seriously, shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you.

    9. "Look at 'em, swan-necking." – Tsk. Look at them, being all nosey. I wonder what's going on?

    10. "Let's 'ave a sken." – Let me look so I can be nosey too.

    11. "That's different..." – I don't like it.

    12. "She's a bit of alreyt." – She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

    13. "Gi' o'er." – Please stop pissing about.

    14. "It were reet nice." – It was probably the best thing I've ever seen, but I don't want you to think I'm boasting.

    15. "Me stomach thinks me throat's bin cut." – I haven't had anything to eat for at least an hour.

    16. "I could eat the hind leg off a donkey." – I haven't had anything to eat for at least 90 minutes. I hope someone has a spare Eccles cake.

    17. "I just bought bits and bats." – I bought loads of things that I don't have any intention of telling you about.

    18. "Let t'dog see t'rabbit." – Let's see what we're looking at.

    19. "Get out t'road." – Get out of the way, you're doing it wrong as per usual.

    20. "It were a right cattle market." – Everyone was out on the pull.

    21. "Did you trap?" – Did you snog someone's face off in public?

    22. "Speyk proper!" – Speak properly, i.e. in your best Lancastrian lingo.

    23. "I'll sithee there." – I'm not going to offer you a lift, soz.

    24. "And he's aget." – And he was saying.

    25. "It's alreet, in't it?" – This is possibly the most incredible thing I've ever witnessed.

    26. "Stop mithering me." – I'm not going to do the thing you want me to do, so stop annoying me.

    27. "Owd-on-a-bit." – Wait a minute.

    28. "'Ave y'ad a wesh?" – You clearly haven't had a wash, as you look like you're growing potatoes behind your ears.

    29. "'Ave ye 'eard yersen?" – You are chatting utter shit.

    30. "Will 'e 'eckers like!" – There's no way he'll do that.

    31. "Well, I'll go to t'foot of our stairs." – Oh, he did actually do it. I'm very surprised.

    32. "Put th'wood in th'ole." – Close the door, were you born in a bloody barn?

    33. "Ooh, t'cows are lying down again." – It's always raining in Lancashire, the cows know absolutely nothing.

    34. "Whacking skoo'." – Playing truant from school, usually on the one day of the year it's actually sunny.

    35. "It were fine." – It was the worst day imaginable, but nobody died, so there's that.

    36. "Fancy a chip butty?" – Fancy carbs with a side of carbs?

    37. "You're looking well." – You've put on weight and I want you to know I've noticed.

    38. "Eeh, well." – I have absolutely no idea what to say to that, so I'll just make this noise instead.

    39. "Brew?" – Would you like me to provide you with the nectar of the gods?

    40. "I'm gagging." – I haven't had a cup of tea in over 10 minutes.

    41. "I'm spittin' feathers." – I haven't had a cup of tea in over 15 minutes and I'm afraid I might die.

    42. "I'm gaspin'." – I haven't had a cup of tea in over 20 minutes and now I am dead.

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