61 Things You'll Know If You Spent Your Childhood In Blackburn
It will always be The Cav.
1. Nowhere did chips and gravy quite like The Chippery.
2. Which, btw, is an awesome name for a chippy.
3. Waves was THE place to host a birthday party.
4. Even if the wave machine was actually slightly terrifying, and you found yourself backing away despite it being the *whole point* of being there.
5. Not to mention the alien flume slide, which genuinely made you think you were going to spend the rest of your days spinning around the funnel at the end.
6. Barbara Castle Way is not nearly as friendly as it sounds.
7. And Shear Brow is so steep it's pretty much a heart attack waiting to happen.
8. The best nights out start with £1 Reefs at the Postal Order.
9. With any luck you'll bump into dancing Ray, the man who loves to boogie.
10. There were always puddles on the steps going up to Heaven and Hell nightclub. Even if it hadn't rained in weeks.
11. Those puddles were probably 90% wee.
12. Purgatory was the best place to go for a snog.
13. The Hell room was just a bit too loud and flashy.
14. You perfected your pulling technique at Utopia. When your mum would actually let you go, of course.
15. But ultimately, it'll always be The Cav in your heart.
16. Somehow, clubbing on a car park didn't seem weird.
17. You always got your fill of greasy food on Darwen Street.
18. But Oasis was where the cool kids would hang out at the end of the night getting doner meat on their chips.
19. Pretty sure those clipboards the taxi guys carried to write your name on were actually never used; it was just an elaborate ruse to make you think there was a queueing system.
20. Getting on stage at Jumping Jacks was the ultimate night out goal.
21. You could definitely do the "YMCA" better than the staff troupe.
22. Though you secretly wished you were in the staff troupe.
23. Peeing in a cubicle that said "Beavers" on the front didn't seem weird at the time.
24. The smell of toast leaving Liquid at the end of the night was pure heaven. Why don't all clubs do that?
25. Sometimes it paid to have emo friends so that you could hang out at The Cellar Bar.
26. You only ever noticed the weird boulders by the old bank when you were drunk.
27. Obviously you had to take photos by them.
28. Anyone who has graced the stage at King George's Hall is a minor celebrity in your eyes.
29. Your driving test started on a steep hill with a roundabout at the end, and you probably did an awkward three-point-turn by Westholme School.
30. You're still not sure if it's Sport Soccer or Soccer Sport.
31. But you did own top-to-toe Donnay gear.
32. Stompers on Blackburn Market was the only place to get decent shoes.
33. And for partywear, it was Strawberry Moon or Posh.
34. You were drinking coffee and eating muffins at BB's near the mall escalators before Starbucks was even a thing.
35. You know you're almost home when you see the Thwaites sign lit up over the brewery.
36. Or even the brick "Jan's" shop sign, which must have taken quite a lot of effort to make.
37. The best Bonfire Night firework displays were always at Whitbread's. The year the lamppost melted is a particular favourite.
38. When you turned 16, you had to celebrate with a meal for your friends at Tiggi's.
39. But when you were younger, birthdays were celebrated at McDonald's or the Apollo cinema.
40. Combining a disco with ice skating still sounds like an awesome idea.
41. It was incredibly easy to lose your friends somewhere in BarLife.
42. But you'd usually find them dancing on the windowsill and refusing to give other people a turn.
43. You have to eat a pie when you're watching Blackburn Rovers play.
44. It's always cold at Ewood.
45. No matter how hard you try, you can't pick the little statue boy's teddy bear up for him. And you have tried. Many times.
46. The pain of being refused entry to Baroque because you weren't 21 still hurts a little bit.
47. You went to Blackburn Museum once on a school trip and never went back again.
48. At Club Tropicana, drinks aren't free. But one of your mates would always insist on going there anyway.
49. Everyone had a Bench coat, McKenzie hoodie and Gola trainers.
50. And a mate who knows David Dunn.
51. You think Alan Shearer should still be at Rovers.
52. You have an inbuilt dislike of all things Burnley.
53. Though you will admit to having enjoyed the odd night out there occasionally.
54. Black pudding isn't weird. It's delicious.
55. A Cheeky Vimto is always a good idea. But so is a good old normal Vimto.
56. You used to try on loads of silly outfits in the Tammy Girl changing rooms with your mates, but rarely ever bought anything.
57. Trying out all the make-up and perfumes at T.J. Hughes never got dull.
58. Being dragged around QS cash and carry by your parents was only ever worth it for the fry-up in the cafe afterwards.
59. Away from Lancashire, you tell people you're from "near Manchester".
60. But the thrill of actually getting the last train home from Manchester always wore off when at least two people vomited in close proximity to you.
61. And your nan will never forget that time you made it into the Lancashire Telegraph.