This May Be The Best Harry Potter Fan Theory Yet

I may be biased because it's my theory.

I think we can all agree that Hermione should have been a Ravenclaw.

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Lupin calls her "the brightest witch of her age he's ever met." That's literally the only criteria to get into Ravenclaw. As the sorting hat says in The Sorcerer's Stone,

"Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

if you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;"

-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

But Hermione isn't the only one who's in the wrong house...

ALL OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE. (Besides Ron)

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Neville is the Hufflepuffiest Hufflepuff of all time. He is extremely loyal and hard-working. Hufflepuff also takes all of the students who don't particularly fit into another house, which seems exactly like Neville TBH.

The sorting hat says in year 5:

"Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,

And taught them all she knew,"

-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

(He shows bravery at times, sure, but so does Cedric and Luna and a bunch of other non-Gryffindors.)

Harry is OBV the Slytherin.

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He's a horrible, whiny, parseltounge TBH.

Oh, and he literally has a piece of Voldemort inside him.

He actually has to beg the sorting hat to NOT put him in Slytherin.

"Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your true friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends."

-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Harry is definitely cunning, he spends most of his time sneaking around invisible to get what he wants.

Ron is the only true Gryffindor.

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"You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave of heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart."

-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Remember when Ron sacrifices himself during giant wizard chess? Remember when Ron overcomes his severe arachnophobia to follow Harry into the forest? Remember when Ron stops to help the house elves during the battle of freaking Hogwarts? Daring, nerve, chivalry, check. Also, his entire family is in Gryffindor.

But WHY would the sorting hat do that?!

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Because the Sorting Hat KNOWS things.

You'd know things too if you lived in Dumbledore's office. Anything that Dumbledore said, the Sorting Hat would hear. The sorting hat likely knew that Harry would be arriving that year. It knew that Dumbledore thought Voldemort would return. And it would definitely know that Harry would need a great team behind him if he was going to vanquish the Dark Lord once and for all.

So WHAT IF the sorting hat put Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville (the only students to actually destroy horcruxes) into the same house on purpose?

WHAT IF IT KNEW THAT THE HOUSES WOULD HAVE TO BE UNITED TO DEFEAT VOLDEMORT?

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Check out the Sorting Hat's song from after Old Voldy officially returns.

After talking about how the founders became power hungry and turned on each other, he offers a warning to the school:

"Though condemned I am to split you

Still I worry that it's wrong,

Though I must fulfill my duty

And must quarter every year

Still I wonder whether sorting

May not bring the end I fear.

Oh, know the perils, read the signs,

The warning history shows,

For our Hogwarts is in danger

From external, deadly foes

And we must unite inside her

Or we'll crumble from within

I have told you, I have warned you....

Let the Sorting now begin."

-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

WE MUST UNITE INSIDE HER.

So it put the best from each house into Gryffindor with Harry!

And don't forget, the sorting hat was GODRIC GRYFFINDOR'S HAT.

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From the Sorting Hat's revised Tri-Wizard Tournament song:

"Twas Gryffindor who found the way,

He whipped me off his head

The founders put some brains in me

So I could choose instead!"

-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

So, of course, it would want the Dark Lord's downfall to be within it's original owner's house.

The symbolism is beautiful, really.

All of the four houses uniting to defeat Voldemort, who thrives on division.

AND they have to work together to destroy Horcruxes which are literally made from the founder's own objects!

Culminating, of course, with Hufflepuffy Neville using Gryffindor's sword to literally CUT A SNAKE'S HEAD OFF.

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(Which took bravery, smarts, loyalty AND cunning).

So here's to the Sorting Hat, the real hero of the story.

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Because who knows what would have happened if they hadn't been united?

Hermione would have been killed by the troll for sure, and it pretty much all falls apart without her.