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19 Things That Happen On Every Episode Of "Dinner Date"

It's important and you should be watching it.

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1. Firstly, the person looking for love gets taken to a sparse cafe that may or may not be in a leisure centre, to choose the menus for the week.

Glamorous.
ITV / Via youtube.com

Glamorous.

2. At least one of the menus will be filled with uncomfortable innuendo/puns.

"It'll only lead to 'treble' wasabi chocolate cake".The cake did not lead to "treble" it led to an awkward hug :(
ITV/BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

"It'll only lead to 'treble' wasabi chocolate cake".

The cake did not lead to "treble" it led to an awkward hug :(

3. And one of the potential dates will have chosen to cook something they learned to make “while travelling”.

It’s usually something widely available in the UK like Thai green curry.
ITV/BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

It’s usually something widely available in the UK like Thai green curry.

4. The cooking will begin, and one of the dates will appear to have never been in their own kitchen before.

ITV/BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com
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5. One of them will manage to fuck up something extremely basic.

Like melting chocolate.
ITV/BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

Like melting chocolate.

6. While one date, who has never cooked before, will attempt to make something quite ambitious and it will completely fail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qNL7VLzVAk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qNL7VLzVAk

This is a failed attempt at ginger syrup.

7. They will probably also attempt to "wing it" without looking at a recipie.

ITV / Via youtube.com

You are meant to melt the butter when making a cheesecake base...

8. And a main course will end up looking like a steaming bowl of hot vomit.

ITV / Via youtube.com

This guy actually won.

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9. One date will actually be a very good cook and make something extremely fancy, but they will basically never win.

ITV / Via youtube.com

It's not ~about~ the cooking.

10. Someone will have some difficulty opening a bottle of champagne.

ITV / Via youtube.com

To be fair it is quite hard.

11. Most of the dinner date conversations will have the stilted formality of a dental conference.

ITV / Via youtube.com

12. And there will be some sort of awkward innuendo despite a total lack of sexual chemistry.

This will be because one person has got pretty smashed to make up for the uncomfortableness of the occasion.
ITV/BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

This will be because one person has got pretty smashed to make up for the uncomfortableness of the occasion.

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13. One of the dates will be really excited about something that they have made.

Probably because it's an old family recipe.
ITV/BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

Probably because it's an old family recipe.

14. And the person looking for love will usually hate it.

ITV/BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

15. After dinner, one date will decide to provide some form of entertainment and it will be extremely uncomfortable.

This man played the violin at this lady.
ITV / Via youtube.com

This man played the violin at this lady.

16. Once the winner is decided the losers will get to eat the worst looking ready meals in the entire world.

Where do the producers even find these, a bin?
ITV / Via youtube.com

Where do the producers even find these, a bin?

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17. Which is made more upsetting by the fact that they have had to dress up for the occasion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qNL7VLzVAk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qNL7VLzVAk

And drink a really sad single serving bottle of wine.

18. The winning date will then take place in another abandoned eatery that looks like it's part of a Travelodge.

Is this filmed at like, 5am? Could they not find anyone to pretend to eat in the background to at least give it some atmosphere? The answer is no.
ITV / Via youtube.com

Is this filmed at like, 5am? Could they not find anyone to pretend to eat in the background to at least give it some atmosphere? The answer is no.

19. And sadly the couple will literally never end up together.

Love is dead.
ITV / Via youtube.com

Love is dead.