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24 Things You'll Find In Every Hipster Restaurant

Because it’s not a cool restaurant without exposed brickwork.

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1. A name that doesn't give any clues about the type of food they actually serve.

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Either made up of two people's names like "Barnaby and George" or a single word selected at random from a dictionary.


6. Old-fashioned light bulbs.

Instagram: @sarasuyin

Those ones we stopped using at least 50 years ago because they're so dim you have to get your phone torch out to read the menu.


12. A black-tiled bathroom.

Instagram: @dynamicstiling

The bathroom needs to make customers feel like they are at a Berlin sex club, and not attempting to have a nice dinner with their work colleagues.


15. Some sort of deconstructed version of a dessert.

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"We couldn't be bothered to properly put this cheesecake together. Here's some Philadephia and some strawberries, now go away and be grateful for what you have."

16. Locally made versions of normal soft drinks, that most people will be afraid to say they dislike.

Karma Cola / Via

"Oh yes this homemade Cola is just as good as normal Coke and in no way reminds me of fragrant oven cleaner."


18. “Twists” on classic cocktails, but with sillier names.

@241Bermondsey / Via Twitter: @214Bermondsey

It's not a proper edgy restaurant unless half the cocktail menu makes you cringe with embarrassment when you have to say it out loud.


23. Overly loud music that in no way fits with the theme of the restaurant.

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If your restaurant serves Mexican food in a pseudo-Victorian setting it's good to play Icelandic house music, at a volume that means customers have to repeat their order at least three times.