62 Things That Mildly Irritate Everyone Who Works In An Office
"Do you have a minute?" "Not really." *continues talking anyway*
1. Needlessly loud typing.
2. People who talk about their commute every single day even though nothing exciting has ever happened.
3. Earth-hating bellends who don't respect the recycling bin rules.
4. Dirty teaspoons on the work surface.
5. When the coffee runs out and nobody replaces it so you just sit there falling asleep.
6. Passive-aggressive signs in the kitchen that everyone totally ignores.
7. When your colleagues actually tell you how they are when you were just being polite.
8. Being regarded as the photocopier technician because you sit near the photocopier.
11. That tight bastard who keeps a secret stash of biscuits in their locked desk drawers.
12. Coffee breath.
13. That person who sighs loudly until you ask them what's wrong.
15. The twatting idiot who comes in when they're ill and makes everyone else ill.
16. Being hungover but still having to come to the office.
17. When somebody else uses your favourite mug so you spend the day being really cold towards them and they have no idea why.
18. The person who bores you about their kids constantly.
19. Colleagues who brag about how early they get to the office, despite the fact that they're swanning about making tea until everyone else gets there.
20. That person who laughs really loudly and then tries to make eye contact with you so you ask what they're laughing at.
21. People who look at your screen when they stand behind you.
22. That one person who has screen protectors like they're a spy and not a PA at a recruitment firm.
23. When someone younger than you is your boss.
24. Colleagues who reply all to emails.
25. People who forward you chain emails, which amazingly somehow still exist in 2015.
26. When you're a young person so everyone older treats you as the IT person.
27. Passive-aggressive emails about the state of the kitchen.
28. People who put read receipts on their emails like they're your actual mother.
29. "Let's catch up face to face."
30. "We're all singing from the same hymn sheet."
31. All ridiculous corporate jargon.
32. Meetings about meetings.
33. People who don't put their phones on silent so the whole desk pings and vibrates whenever they get a WhatsApp notification.
34. That person who always paces up and down the office on the phone so you can hear how very important their phone conversation is.
35. Office air conditioning that is -5°C all year round so you have to wear a coat indoors in summer.
36. Colleagues who are rude to the receptionist.
37. Wannabe Michael Scotts who sit on your desk to talk to you.
38. That one person who asks you way-too-personal questions.
39. "Do you have a minute?" "Not really." *continues talking anyway*
40. Not being able to leave work at precisely 6pm.
41. That person who always talks about their gym regime, as if anyone cares.
42. And the person who's always on a new fad diet.
43. People talking to you when you're eating at your desk.
44. Having to eat lunch at your desk.
45. Getting a salad for lunch because you're being healthy, but then caving and eating four packets of crisps and three Kit Kats in the afternoon.
46. Not being sure if your headache is from too much coffee or not enough coffee.
47. So having another coffee and then feeling like you can hear colours.
48. When some asks "Going anywhere nice?" when you're going on holiday, as if you're going somewhere shit.
49. Lift small-talk.
50. Having to come up with a fun fact about yourself and going completely blank.
51. Being forced to go on team-building days and interact with your colleagues for a full day.
52. Enforced work drinks where everyone talks about work.
53. When people sing "Happy Birthday" to you and you don't know where to look.
54. When somebody brings their baby in and you don't know how to interact with babies.
55. Having to donate money for a birthday present for a colleague you hate.
56. Being peer-pressured to sponsor a colleague you hate to do a sporting event.
57. Unless it's an event where they might fall off a cliff or something.
58. When your boss uses fancy words to make bad things sound good, e.g. streamlining.
59. Middle management with ideas above their station.
60. Being made to work when it's sunny outside.
61. Being made to work on your birthday.
62. Being made to work ever.