39 Things That Make British People Slightly Stressed At Christmas
Literally everything about the EastEnders Christmas Day episode.
1. Watching festive cooking shows that are clearly filmed in July so everyone looks really hot in their jumpers.
2. Receiving a Christmas card on 1 December.
3. Sending crap cards to your work colleagues and cousins because of your hierarchy of Christmas cards and wondering if they'll be offended.
4. Posting all your Christmas cards with a second-class stamp and worrying that everyone will think you are cheap.
5. Realising you have missed the date for second-class post and will have to spend several million pounds to send your cards first class.
6. Receiving a Christmas newsletter from ~that~ family and instantly realising that your life is completely inferior because you didn't get a PhD from Oxford, travel South America, and save the whales this year.
7. Watching Love Actually and realising that your house/life is rubbish in comparison to everyone in the film.
8. Bingeing on all the fancy M&S mince pies yourself and then having to offer your guests the crap ones that suck all the moisture from your mouth.
9. Crying at the John Lewis advert in public.
10. Not crying at the John Lewis advert that everyone else has cried at and wondering if you are maybe heartless.
11. Getting your own name in the office Secret Santa and not saying anything because you don't want to cause a fuss.
12. Getting someone you have literally never spoken to before in Secret Santa and stress-buying them something £10 over the limit.
13. Receiving an embarrassing (probably cock-themed) Secret Santa gift and having to open it in front of your colleagues.
14. Going Christmas shopping in your big coat and then walking into Debenhams and instantly feeling like you have actually melted.
15. Not knowing what to buy for your dad, ever.
16. Having to go to B&Q to panic buy something for your dad and not having a clue where to begin.
17. When people say they are going to "pop round" to drop off your presents and don't specify a time.
18. When the neighbours post a card through your letterbox on Christmas Eve and you're not sure whether it looks too obvious to quickly write one and go round to theirs immediately.
19. Bumping into people you didn't like at school in the pub on Christmas Eve and being forced to make polite conversation even though you definitely don't care about their lives.
20. Realising on 24 December that you have forgotten to buy your uncle a present and rushing to the petrol station to panic-buy some Maltesers.
21. Spending Christmas in someone else's place for the first time and not being sure what time they get up so being trapped in bed for hours.
22. Having to spend Christmas with child relatives and being unsure what the Santa situation is.
23. Being single at Christmas so having to share a room with your 7-year-old cousin.
24. Being asked why you are single by your elderly great aunt.
25. Worrying that you didn't go to church on Christmas Day because you feel you SHOULD go, even though you never do any other day of the year.
26. Being the first person to get passed the Quality Street tin and feeling an incredible amount of pressure.
27. Excitedly opening a Roses tin only to discover that it's only the orange ones left.
28. Being gifted a panettone and not having a clue what to do with it so immediately regifting it to your mum.
29. Giving a gift that you got in a Boots 3 for 2 deal to a minor relative and realising that they ~know~.
30. Having sprouts on your plate and having to eat them out of politeness.
31. Forgetting to watch the Queen's speech for the 20th year running and for some reason feeling extremely guilty about it, even though you're not a monarchist.
32. Watching the Downton Abbey Christmas episode because your gran wants to see it and then realising 20 minutes in that it's three hours long.
33. Everything about the EastEnders Christmas Day episode.
34. When the conversation turns to politics and one of your relatives is a Daily Mail reader.
35. Being served Christmas cake and pretending to like it every year.
36. Going to the Boxing Day sales.
37. Not being sure when it is the appropriate time to take down your Christmas tree.
38. When people ask how your Christmas was and the only thing you can think of to say is "yeh, quiet".
39. Wondering if you will be able to get a DFS sofa in time for next Christmas.