1. The mac 'n' cheese incident.
2. The wannabe grown-up.
I put a large round sequin in my eye because I thought it would be the same as the contacts my parents wore. Scratched my cornea and had to wear an eye patch for two weeks and use drops that made my eye glow under a blacklight.
Totally worth it.
3. The Capri Sun.
I stabbed myself in the eye with the straw from my Capri Sun after wrestling with my sister over it.
4. The kid who just wanted to empathise.
I was 2 and I wanted to know how a fly felt when it was dying so I ate fly poison and had to be hospitalized.
—Azucena Perez, Facebook
5. The glue incident.
I was rummaging through my mother's craft drawer one night and found some glue. Assuming it was regular glue, I played around with it and thoughtlessly touched my face. It was actually Super Glue, and my hand remained plastered to my face until paramedics came and put me in a bathtub to bathe me with chemicals to release the bond.
—Katie Keller, Facebook
7. The failed Santa.
I accidently broke my sister's finger when I sat on her lap to tell her what I wanted for Christmas. It was July.
—Sarah Salthouse, Facebook
8. The proof that even musical instruments are dangerous...
When I was 4, I tried to play the piano with my feet. I fell backwards and cut my head open on a speaker and managed to take the corner off the speaker! Still have the corner-shaped scar in my hairline to prove it.
—Amanda Ruskin, Facebook
9. Even imaginary ones.
I broke my arm playing air guitar; I was doing a windmill and hit my arm on the oven. The whole situation was so ridiculous I lay on the kitchen floor laughing until I looked down and my wrist had gone blue. Spent six weeks in a cast. I was 14.
10. The dangerous birdhouse.
I broke my nose on a birdhouse.
My friend climbed up a cabinet to grab something and accidentally knocked this birdhouse off the shelf. I just stood there watching as the birdhouse fell on my face.
—Megan McCulloch, Facebook
11. The reason you should avoid vegetables.
12. The pencil sharpener.
In kindergarten, after removing my pencil from the large wall-mounted sharpener, I decided that I could really use a sharp and pointy finger, so I stuck my pinkie finger in there and turned the handle.
Not sharp, not pointy – just blood and tears.
—Vicky Sparks, Facebook
13. The killer marshmallows.
While making s'mores at summer camp, my marshmallow caught fire and I ended up dropping it on my knee. I gave myself a second-degree burn.
I now work at that summer camp, and there was a special scenario during safety training about making s'mores.
—Cameron Austin, Facebook
14. The disaster that could happen to everyone.
My friend broke his neck trying to put his shirt on. His head ended up going in the armhole and it was all downhill from there.
15. And the one that probably won't happen to anyone else.
I hurt my ankle while jumping on a trampoline, which was covered in 3 inches of snow. While wearing roller skates. Try explaining that in hospital.
16. The waterslide nightmare.
Once at a water park, a large man got stuck in a slide but didn't let anyone know. I came down the slide and my foot slammed into his back, resulting in a sprained ankle. He just moved himself to the side enough to let me pass and continue down the slide.
17. The school bus.
18. The real bellend.
I was given the job of ringing the bell at the end of school playtime. It was one of the handheld ones, and I was so enthusiastic about it that I hit myself in the forehead and was knocked out for a few minutes.
19. The balloon.
Once on my birthday my friend and I were playing with a balloon. I went to kick it while she went to head-butt it. I ended up kicking her in the face, leaving her with a little scratch and me with a broken toe. I BROKE MY FUCKING TOE ON HER CHIN. ON MY BIRTHDAY.
20. The aspiring metaller.
I once got overly excited when headbanging in the car whilst listening to Queen. I hit my head on my knees and gave myself a nosebleed.
We had to pull over so my mum could stop the bleeding.
21. The danger of Duck, Duck, Goose.
I broke my big toe playing Duck, Duck, Goose in third grade. When I was picked, I jumped up so fast that I tripped over my own feet and snapped my big toe.
22. The real risk of coughing.
23. The murderous bucket.
At the age of 7, I decided to change the lightbulb in my room. I thought a bucket would be the best way to reach the light. This was not the case. I flipped off the bucket, smashed both lightbulbs, and had to get stitches and broke my arm in three places.
Bucket: 1, Me: 0.
24. The classic school-disco injury.
I was doing the worm at a middle school dance and crashed my chin into the floor. This resulted in lots of blood and stitches.
25. The reason you shouldn't sing in the shower.
When I was around 10 I was singing "Colors of the Wind" from Pocahontas while I was taking a shower and got so into the song that I lost my balance, fell, and hit my head on the sliding shower door track.
Had to get stitches behind my ear and thus had the lamest ER visit story ever.
26. The most accident-prone kid in the world.
In one week when I was 6, I ended up in hospital three times. The first time was to have my stomach pumped after my brother dared me to eat a gel air freshener. About three days later we were chasing each round the living room when I tripped and ended up putting my hands through the TV screen. Had to have my palms stitched.
Upon leaving the hospital I ran down the street, turned to look at my mum as she told me to slow down, and ran into a lamppost, knocking myself out. We were less than 100m from the hospital so my mum just picked me up and carried me back in.
27. The swan.
28. The Barbie who got her revenge.
When I was 3 I tripped and fell directly on a Barbie doll hand that was sticking straight up and the hand went into my chin. I had to get three stitches and I still have a scar today.
29. The real skinny-jeans problem.
When I was 7, I broke my middle finger because my jeans were too tight. All I wanted was to reach the candy in my pocket.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.