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If Relationships Were Like They Are On The Sims

WooHoo all day.

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1. You’d come home from work and decide, right, “it’s time I got a boyfriend/girlfriend”.

Can't be forever alone any longer.
Moby Games/EA / Via mobygames.com

Can't be forever alone any longer.

2. Before going out you’d be sure to drastically change your appearance.

Maybe cut and dye your own hair/shave off your eyebrows/get some fun facepaint.
Via youtube.com

Maybe cut and dye your own hair/shave off your eyebrows/get some fun facepaint.

3. Then you’d get a cab down to the town square to see if there were any hot babes around.

And this wouldn't seem at all predatory at all.
EA / Via simsnieuws.nl

And this wouldn't seem at all predatory at all.

4. You’d strike up a conversation with the hottest looking person there, and they wouldn’t be freaked out at all.

There would be loads of people around who you could potentially bang. Probably one of the Goth family, they're pretty rich.
ms18occ/EA / Via youtube.com

There would be loads of people around who you could potentially bang. Probably one of the Goth family, they're pretty rich.

5. Then you’d tell them the same joke three times in a row.

And they'd be totally in to it.
Via Twitter: @BurrXbettyboop

And they'd be totally in to it.

6. Maybe you'd ask them a riveting question about the last time they pissed themselves.

Sexiest conversation topic there is.
@Laurynmac_xo/EA / Via Twitter: @Laurynmac_xo

Sexiest conversation topic there is.

7. After you’d been making small talk for 20 minutes it would be time to lean in for a kiss.

Or maybe a "goose".
Sims Leksikon / Via youtube.com

Or maybe a "goose".

8. Then you’d immediately invite them over to your house, even though you’d just met.

And it wouldn't be seen as at all presumptuous.
hollyberry/EA / Via holleyberry.tumblr.com

And it wouldn't be seen as at all presumptuous.

9. You'd be really worried about burning the house down while you made them a delicious Autumn Salad.

Fire can strike at any time.
Via Twitter: @jadeisallama

Fire can strike at any time.

10. They'd be totally into you asking them to "WooHoo".

Those sex fireworks would actually be a huge fire hazard in real life.
Via silvervaleprosperity.blogspot.co.uk

Those sex fireworks would actually be a huge fire hazard in real life.

11. But this would be a real concern.

12. It would be completely acceptable to propose marriage on your first date.

sim--derella/EA / Via sim--derella.tumblr.com

13. And then get married immediately.

I made a beautiful wedding area for my Sims so they ignored it and got married in the kitchen.

Better invite the neighbours round for a beautiful ceremony in your kitchen. It's chill, you're probably wearing wedding clothes under your normal clothes, just spin round and see what happens.

14. If one of your guests died at your wedding and the Grim Reaper turned up, it wouldn’t necessarily mean that it went badly.

On the plus side, you might even become friends with Grim. Fires at weddings would also be completely fine.
Via forums.thesims.com

On the plus side, you might even become friends with Grim. Fires at weddings would also be completely fine.

15. When your new spouse moved in you could force their ex-flatmates to live with you so you could steal their money.

Or use them as painter slaves, whatever.
hell / Via imgur.com

Or use them as painter slaves, whatever.

16. Minutes after your wedding it would be time to think about having a baby.

You'd know if it worked if creepy music played loudly in your bedroom.
Via Twitter: @brotaku21

You'd know if it worked if creepy music played loudly in your bedroom.

17. Pregnancy would only last three days.

A total breeze.
SimsOMedia/EA / Via tumblr.com

A total breeze.

18. And having kids wouldn't really affect your life that much.

"OMG, my baby is on fire! I need to tweet this!"

Because you could mostly ignore them.

19. If you got bored of your partner you could always hire a maid.

Exclusively for the purpose of seducing them.
EA / Via forum.thesims3.com

Exclusively for the purpose of seducing them.

20. And it would be ok to have an affair while your spouse was in the house.

They wouldn't realize unless you make out in front of them
Simble Things / Via simblethings.tumblr.com

They wouldn't realize unless you make out in front of them

21. But if you got caught cheating it would be pretty easy to get forgiveness.