24 Absolutely Horrendous Vintage Recipes

Mmmm, so much meaty gelatine.

1. “Salad”.

LVeg / Via imgur.com

Yep, looks like a salad to me.

2. A nice dinner, trapped forever in a gelatinous prison.

thejustifiedsinner / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

A simple supper that takes over four hours to make.

3. Meringue farm animals drowning in a yellow gelatine sea.

the justified sinner / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

“Please help us, mother.”

4. Vegetable quiche in aspic.

the justified sinner / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

:(

5. Slices of processed cheese carefully layered on top of canned beef stew.

jbcurio / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jbcurio

6. Fizzy 7-Up milk.

orbitn / Via imgur.com

“Mix chilled 7-Up and cold milk in equal parts.”

I actually tried to make this in the office kitchen. It curdled.

Sophie Gadd / BuzzFeed

Sophie Gadd / BuzzFeed

 

7. Sad meaty fruit.

danielweiresq / Via Flickr: 15134271@N03

Why would you do this?

8. Flaming sausage lettuce crown with a side of wet macaroni.

Elizabeth / Via Flickr: runder

Let’s take a moment to look at this. Ignore the Old Fashioned, we don’t care about that. In the background, that appears to be a lettuce on fire with sausages on sticks stuck in it, with a side dish of very lumpy looking macaroni cheese. Lovely.

9. A large jelly salmon.

Ann Larie Valentine / Via Flickr: sanfranannie

Three hundred timely fish recipes! Three hundred!

10. Stew frozen in time forever.

frauhoad / Via imgur.com

Why have separate foods on your plate when you can spend hours creating a lovely wobbly stew loaf?

11. This horror.

danielweiresq / Via Flickr: 15134271@N03

Prawns do not deserve this death.

12. Sexy-looking banana candles.

13. Tooth-dissolving prune and marshmallows served over ice cream with melted marshmallow sauce.

thejustifiedsinner / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

Imagine getting this at a dinner party.

14. Ham in aspic, surrounded by a moat of a mystery gelatinous substance.

the justified sinner / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

Mmmm, gravy jelly.

15. A really chill log.

Weight Watchers Recipe Cards / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

16. Jellified beetroot and pineapple salad.

Weight Watchers Recipe Cards / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

17. Dead shrimp diving into a pool of rice and mystery fish.

the justified sinner / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

Apologies to Spain for this bastardisation of paella.

18. Cheese fudge.

@picturebrina / Via Twitter: @picturebrina

Fudge. Made out of cheese. I am done.

19. A really suspicious-looking piece of stuffed fish.

@RobinPartridge / Via Twitter: @RobinPartridge

Nothing funny to see here.

20. Jellied tomato.

Weight Watchers / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

Ahh, nothing like a nice glass of tomato-flavoured jelly after a long day at work.

21. This horrific space cake.

How to make sure nobody turns up to your kid’s next birthday party.

22. Spam and banana fritters.

People in the past did not deserve bananas.

23. Another fruity meat surprise.

heatherleebea / Via instagram.com

WITH FRUIT.

24. And this, a crown of roast frankfurters.

Weight Watchers Recipe Cards / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

Truly fit for a queen.

H/T the justified sinner and The Weight Watchers Recipes of 1974 for some of the horrible recipes.

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