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    24 Absolutely Horrendous Vintage Recipes

    Mmmm, so much meaty gelatine.

    Sophie Gadd
    by Sophie Gadd

    BuzzFeed Staff, UK

    1. "Salad".

    LVeg / Via imgur.com

    Yep, looks like a salad to me.

    2. A nice dinner, trapped forever in a gelatinous prison.

    thejustifiedsinner / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

    A simple supper that takes over four hours to make.

    3. Meringue farm animals drowning in a yellow gelatine sea.

    the justified sinner / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

    "Please help us, mother."

    4. Vegetable quiche in aspic.

    the justified sinner / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

    :(

    5. Slices of processed cheese carefully layered on top of canned beef stew.

    jbcurio / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jbcurio

    6. Fizzy 7-Up milk.

    orbitn / Via imgur.com

    "Mix chilled 7-Up and cold milk in equal parts."

    I actually tried to make this in the office kitchen. It curdled.

    Sophie Gadd / BuzzFeed
    Sophie Gadd / BuzzFeed

    7. Sad meaty fruit.

    danielweiresq / Via Flickr: 15134271@N03

    Why would you do this?

    8. Flaming sausage lettuce crown with a side of wet macaroni.

    Elizabeth / Via Flickr: runder

    Let's take a moment to look at this. Ignore the Old Fashioned, we don't care about that. In the background, that appears to be a lettuce on fire with sausages on sticks stuck in it, with a side dish of very lumpy looking macaroni cheese. Lovely.

    9. A large jelly salmon.

    Ann Larie Valentine / Via Flickr: sanfranannie

    Three hundred timely fish recipes! Three hundred!

    10. Stew frozen in time forever.

    frauhoad / Via imgur.com

    Why have separate foods on your plate when you can spend hours creating a lovely wobbly stew loaf?

    11. This horror.

    danielweiresq / Via Flickr: 15134271@N03

    Prawns do not deserve this death.

    12. Sexy-looking banana candles.

    justhungry.com

    13. Tooth-dissolving prune and marshmallows served over ice cream with melted marshmallow sauce.

    thejustifiedsinner / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

    Imagine getting this at a dinner party.

    14. Ham in aspic, surrounded by a moat of a mystery gelatinous substance.

    the justified sinner / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

    Mmmm, gravy jelly.

    15. A really chill log.

    Weight Watchers Recipe Cards / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

    16. Jellified beetroot and pineapple salad.

    Weight Watchers Recipe Cards / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

    17. Dead shrimp diving into a pool of rice and mystery fish.

    the justified sinner / Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner

    Apologies to Spain for this bastardisation of paella.

    18. Cheese fudge.

    @picturebrina / Via Twitter: @picturebrina

    Fudge. Made out of cheese. I am done.

    19. A really suspicious-looking piece of stuffed fish.

    @RobinPartridge / Via Twitter: @RobinPartridge

    Nothing funny to see here.

    20. Jellied tomato.

    Weight Watchers / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

    Ahh, nothing like a nice glass of tomato-flavoured jelly after a long day at work.

    21. This horrific space cake.

    Twitter: @GiddyKipperUK

    How to make sure nobody turns up to your kid's next birthday party.

    22. Spam and banana fritters.

    Hormel / Via vintageadbrowser.com

    People in the past did not deserve bananas.

    23. Another fruity meat surprise.

    heatherleebea / Via instagram.com

    WITH FRUIT.

    24. And this, a crown of roast frankfurters.

    Weight Watchers Recipe Cards / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

    Truly fit for a queen.

    H/T the justified sinner and The Weight Watchers Recipes of 1974 for some of the horrible recipes.