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24 Things That Happen At Every University Graduation Ceremony

Try not to trip over.

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1. You feel VERY cool when you get to collect your cap and gown.

Someone will dress you and pin your gown in the right places but it will still keep sliding around.

3. But you will never be quite sure if you're wearing your mortarboard properly.

It will probably be on backwards. And which side is the tassel meant to go on?!

4. You will not recognise a large number of the other students who are graduating.

Unless you went to Oxbridge or art school your graduation is going to be a room full of strangers. Oh look there's someone you once made eye-contact with in the library, NEW BEST FRIENDS.


5. And few of your good friends will actually be there.

Unless you only had friends on your course this is going to be a day of making small talk with people you spent seminars with.

8. Someone's name will be badly mispronounced.

Sorry to all the Xanthes and Joaquins out there.


9. You will be unbelievably hot.

Formalwear, a huge gown and a mortarboard, and a room crammed to the rafters is the perfect way to get really sweaty.

10. You will get wrist ache from clapping too much.


12. And it will mostly be very confusing.

Some parts of it will probably be in Latin. You will nod along like you understand what is happening.


13. People will be there collecting PhDs with silly sounding titles.

Of course "The economy of Froome between 1820 and 1823" is an important subject. Of course.

14. You will spend a lot of time worrying that you’re going to do the handshake wrong.

17. At least one of your parents/relatives will cry.

Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions / Via

It's a really big day for them. They probably weren't quite sure what you were up to the whole time – graduation is proof that you didn't spend every day watching Netflix.

18. You will try to throw your mortarboard in the air.

Someone will get bashed in the nose and you'll realise why they won't let you do this inside the graduation hall.

19. You will seek out the most attractive places on campus for your photos.

80% of the campus might be from an architectural dark age but if you stand in *just* the right place it could actually look nice.

20. And you will discover that official graduation photos are A LIE.

The scroll which isn't a scroll but a PLASTIC PIPE.


22. You and your friends might go for celebratory drinks in one of your old haunts.

And even though you probably only left a few months ago it will feel kind of weird.