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    22 Things You'll Find In Every Hipster Pub

    An overwhelming number of hilarious chalkboard signs.

    1. A zany chalk sign outside.

    Something hilarious about why beer cures all your problems.

    2. A building that used to be some vital public service.

    Nothing symbolises the #gentrification of #Deptford than turning a dilapidated job centre into a "trendy" pub

    See also: public toilets, and fire stations.

    3. Weird decor that looks like your grandma's house.

    4. An actual neon sign.

    @BOPPclothing / Via Twitter: @BOPPclothing

    Nice to stare at this for four straight hours.

    5. Bookshelves covered in random paperbacks that nobody reads.

    @JoeMeekSociety / Via Twitter: @JoeMeekSociety

    I guess they're for heat insulation or something?

    6. Church pew seats.

    rambles1 / Via

    The good thing about these chairs is they absolutely kill your back so you have to leave, which stops you wasting all your money on beer.

    7. One enormous squishy sofa which forces you to attempt to drink your pint almost lying down.

    @mariner_hove / Via Twitter: @mariner_hove

    It will always be occupied by a single person working on a laptop, who will refuse to acknowledge that they are taking up the seating space of five.

    8. Exceptionally grim toilets.

    Sophie Gadd / BuzzFeed

    Even though large amounts of money will have been spent making the pub look fashionably distressed, the toilets will have been neglected and will fall somewhere on a cleanliness scale between a student flat and the last day of the Reading Festival. Remember, broken locks are clearly a charming quirk.

    9. An overwhelming number of beers on tap.

    @HeritageSthby / Via Twitter: @HeritageSthby

    Most people will never have heard of any of them. This causes everyone to faff around at the bar for bloody ages while they taste them, and then ultimately decide to order a Guinness.

    10. Beers with silly names.

    @peridotmatrix / Via Twitter: @peridotmatrix

    Half of those beers on tap will be called something like "Screaming Uncle" or "Asskisser" so you feel embarrassed saying it aloud and have to repeat yourself multiple times.

    11. Beer served in ridiculous glasses.

    @ErinEph / Via Twitter: @ErinEph

    Remember pint glasses? Those were cool weren't they.

    12. And a really elaborate cocktail menu.

    @TaraLouiseCaple / Via Twitter: @TaraLouiseCaple

    The barman will probably not know how to make most of them because the majority of punters will order a G&T in a panic. And they'll probably be served in some sort of novelty crockery.

    13. Fancy and expensive versions of picnic food you could buy in Tesco for £1.

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

    £6.49 for a scotch egg!

    14. Posh crisps.

    Pipers Crisps / Via

    Those ones that always have a really pretentious description, because why say "salt and vinegar" when you could say "Dead Sea salt and apple cider vinegar aged in a barrel for 50 years and if you prefer Walkers to these then you're probably a peasant".

    15. A menu that is full of twists on normal pub food.

    Jeremy Keith / Via Flickr: adactio

    It might look like normal sausage and mash but it's probably celeriac mash and pigeon sausage, because fuck you that's why.

    16. Food served on wooden boards

    Alpha / Via Flickr: avlxyz


    17. A pub dog.

    Pub dog frank enjoy belly rub this Sunday morning 🐶 #thegoodlife #Frank

    Our lovely canine friends, ready to awkwardly shove their noses in our laps while we're trying to flirt.

    18. Screaming children.

    aaron gilson / Via Flickr: aarongilson

    There was once a time when pubs were a sort of creche for adults to sit around their beers complaining about everything in peace. Now a lot of gastropubs act as actual creches, because there is truly nothing toddlers love more than sitting quietly nursing a pint of IPA.

    19. Spoken word nights held in the middle of the pub.

    @j_mceneaney / Via Twitter: @j_mceneaney

    At least with an open mic night you could generally ignore the performers.

    20. Novelty versions of pub quizzes.

    @UrbanVault / Via Twitter: @UrbanVault

    Forget a general knowledge quiz when you could have a Justin Bieber quiz, or a '90s hip hop quiz!

    21. A basement that does house nights.

    Bex Wade for BuzzFeed

    Even though the upstairs of the building looks like your grandma's house, the basement must juxtapose this by hosting extremely edgy club nights.

    22. And of course, board games.

    @datum_plane / Via Twitter: @datum_plane

    There is no better way to bond with your mates that almost murdering one another over a game of Monopoly.

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