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19 Things That Happen When You Try And Go Camping In Britain

You will forget the tent pegs.

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2. The car will be so full up you have to sit with half your gear on your lap.

Can't see out the back window because there's a sleeping bag in the way.


3. You will spend several hours sitting in a hot car in traffic on a motorway.

Pass the time looking out the windows at other people trapped under mountains of camping equipment.

4. Half way there you’ll realise that you have forgotten a crucial item.

Such as the tent pegs/ground sheet/kettle. You'll then have an intense debate about whether to go back home and get it or stop at a service station to try and buy replacement.

Eventually you will decide to push on and end up replacing it at the overpriced campsite shop. You will quietly seethe every time you look at it.

7. The campsite loos will fall somewhere between “festival” and “student flat” on the cleanliness scale.

United Diversity / Via Flickr: uniteddiversity

Unless your're staying at one of those really fancy campsites, in which case you might as well have gone to Center Parcs. The grimness is all part of the experience, obviously.


8. And the bathroom hot water will inevitably run out after about 10 minutes.

To guarantee a hot shower you will need to start showering at 3pm or the middle of the night. Probably just easier to not shower.

9. At some point a wasp will get in the tent.

And cause pandemonium.

10. It will probably rain.

TijsB/BuzzFeed / Via Flickr: tijsb

If you don't manage to get into the shower queues early, then don't worry because you'll get sopping wet when it starts to piss it down.

11. And someone will say “it looks like it might cheer up in the afternoon”.

Also "yes I think I saw some blue sky coming from that direction". They will inevitably be totally wrong.

12. Some element of the tent will leak.

Either through the roof or the floor. This is just going to happen and you have to accept that.


13. One member of the group will get obsessed with “not touching the sides of the tent”.

Apparently it makes it leak. They will relentlessly mention it.

14. You will eat nothing but bread, sausages, bacon, and burgers for the duration of the trip.

With ketchup for added health. If it can't be cooked on a BBQ it doesn't exist.

15. Someone will spectacularly trip over a guy rope in the middle of the night.

16. You will have some sort of disagreement with an animal.

Sheep herding at the campsite#abattycymer#ewebetter elieveit

Could be another camper's dog, could be a herd of cows that breaks into the campsite.

17. You will need the loo in the middle of the night.

And spend several minutes debating whether you can hold it til morning or willing to risk the terrifying lonely pilgrimage to the shower block. The campsite will feel like a scene from The Blair Witch Project.

18. One group on your campsite will be really rowdy.

summonedbyfells / Via Flickr: summonedbyfells

You will do the very British thing of disapprovingly raising your eyebrow at them in the washing up queue. If no-one on your campsite seems loud it is probably you.


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