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    Updated on 9 Jul 2019. Posted on 9 Jul 2019

    24 Mercury Retrograde Tweets That'll Make You Laugh, Reassure You, And Freak You Out

    Sending calming energy (and tweets) to you during this difficult time.


    What the 12 signs need for Mercury Retrograde: Aries: A nap Taurus: A nap Gemini: A nap Cancer: A nap Leo: A nap Virgo: A nap Libra: A nap Scorpio: A nap Sagittarius: A nap Capricorn: A nap Aquarius: A nap Pisces: A nap


    Mercury Retrograde Season, also known as Type The Tweet/Post, Then Backspace The Whole Thing And Close The Tab Season



    Mercury is in retrograde this is not the time to go on a search for some new dick bitch stay the fuck home


    “Mercury Retrograde will have past lovers re-emerging.. Be careful..” So will posting a fine Instagram pic on a regular Tuesday lmao


    Mercury is in retrograde and I have the WEIRDEST boner I don’t know how astrology works


    This thing happens during mercury retrograde where farts enter my ass instead of exit it


    If astrology isn’t really, then why do Facebook/Instagram/WhatsApp always go down during Mercury retrograde/during the shadow period?


    show mercury retrograde who's boss by sabotaging yourself. you don't even need it. *it* should be afraid of *you!*


    When Mercury Retrograde decides to fall during Eclipse Season & you just gotta pretend everything’s fine even though you’re on the verge of the biggest mental breakdown of your existence:


    me trying to keep my mouth shut and not argue w nobody during this mercury retrograde


    Today is the first day of Mercury Retrograde so I have to understand that everyone is annoying & I am the true Queen .


    *shuts my phone off until mercury retrograde is over*


    mercury retrograde starts today and i still dunno what that means exactly but seems like a legit excuse to use to avoid people.


    sorry i didnt text you back, it’s mercury retrograde


    it’s mercury retrograde from today until july 31st if you needed something to blame all of your life’s problems on.


    i haven’t left my house in 2 days. i blame mercury retrograde


    Me: Astrology is fake Y'all: Mercury is in retrograde Me:



    mercury retrograde is humming in my ear and i keep trying to swat it away like a gnat but she ain’t goin away


    mercury is in retrograde u know what that means ladies


    me: *maybe eats once a day, drinks/eats food terrible for my system, sleeps 4 hours a night* my body: *gets sick* me: that goddamn mercury retrograde


    Exes showing up during mercury retrograde be like


    You know what’s worse than Mercury being in retrograde? Being constantly told that Mercury is in retrograde.

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