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    Updated on 9 Jul 2019. Posted on 9 Jul 2019

    24 Mercury Retrograde Tweets That'll Make You Laugh, Reassure You, And Freak You Out

    Sending calming energy (and tweets) to you during this difficult time.

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    What the 12 signs need for Mercury Retrograde: Aries: A nap Taurus: A nap Gemini: A nap Cancer: A nap Leo: A nap Virgo: A nap Libra: A nap Scorpio: A nap Sagittarius: A nap Capricorn: A nap Aquarius: A nap Pisces: A nap

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    Mercury Retrograde Season, also known as Type The Tweet/Post, Then Backspace The Whole Thing And Close The Tab Season

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    Mercury is in retrograde this is not the time to go on a search for some new dick bitch stay the fuck home

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    “Mercury Retrograde will have past lovers re-emerging.. Be careful..” So will posting a fine Instagram pic on a regular Tuesday lmao

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    Mercury is in retrograde and I have the WEIRDEST boner I don’t know how astrology works

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    This thing happens during mercury retrograde where farts enter my ass instead of exit it

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    If astrology isn’t really, then why do Facebook/Instagram/WhatsApp always go down during Mercury retrograde/during the shadow period?

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    show mercury retrograde who's boss by sabotaging yourself. you don't even need it. *it* should be afraid of *you!*

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    When Mercury Retrograde decides to fall during Eclipse Season & you just gotta pretend everything’s fine even though you’re on the verge of the biggest mental breakdown of your existence:

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    me trying to keep my mouth shut and not argue w nobody during this mercury retrograde

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    Today is the first day of Mercury Retrograde so I have to understand that everyone is annoying & I am the true Queen .

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    *shuts my phone off until mercury retrograde is over*

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    mercury retrograde starts today and i still dunno what that means exactly but seems like a legit excuse to use to avoid people.

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    sorry i didnt text you back, it’s mercury retrograde

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    it’s mercury retrograde from today until july 31st if you needed something to blame all of your life’s problems on.

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    i haven’t left my house in 2 days. i blame mercury retrograde

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    Me: Astrology is fake Y'all: Mercury is in retrograde Me:

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    mercury retrograde is humming in my ear and i keep trying to swat it away like a gnat but she ain’t goin away

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    mercury is in retrograde u know what that means ladies

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    me: *maybe eats once a day, drinks/eats food terrible for my system, sleeps 4 hours a night* my body: *gets sick* me: that goddamn mercury retrograde

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    Exes showing up during mercury retrograde be like

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    You know what’s worse than Mercury being in retrograde? Being constantly told that Mercury is in retrograde.

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