1. The people of SEPTA.
2. This monstrosity.
3. These bills.
4. That the PPA will ruin your day...
...and park illegally to do so.
5. That this will happen...
...on more than one occasion.
6. That your family will want to see the historic stuff.
7. These trees.
8. The free hot dogs at Voyeur.
9. These rats who enjoy dining at your favorite restaurant.
10. That you’ll run out of alcohol on a Sunday.
11. That you might get shot while ordering drunk food in North Philly.
12. That you might get mugged and/or shot on your way to class.
13. The dating scene.
14. The structural integrity of your apartment building.
15. These trolley tracks...
...which will result in this traumatizing wipeout.
16. Naked people.
17. The amount of alcohol you'll consume tailgating.
18. That you'll get caught up in the wrong crowd.
19. Late-night arguments over cheesesteak preference.
20. That you'll miss the last train home.
And finally, the most terrifying thing of all...
21. That too many people will discover how amazing it is to live here.
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